During the past few years, God has redefined my understanding of faithful.
I used to understand faithful in the version of "God is faithful.... He always provides." The same way that we don't have to worry about where our next home will be - "He always provides!". And it's true - in 10 years and 9 different houses, we've never been homeless. But my understanding of faithful was rocked to the core a few years ago.
I have a sweet, soul friend, Sarah. When she was pregnant with her second baby, about 4 months into her pregnancy, doctors found out there was something wrong. The following weeks involved a series of tests and procedures to first determine what exactly was wrong and then to correct it in utero. We prayed...prayed hard for baby Mia to be healed. And I believed in my heart of hearts that everything would be fine. After all, God is faithful. He always provides.
But on November 20th, Sarah and David were forced to say hello and goodbye to baby Mia. To say I cannot even begin to understand their heartbreak is an understatement. In a selfish way, I have to admit that I was grieving for myself, too. I was disappointed by God - I felt like He had let me down. From my finite point of view, there was absolutely no reason why God would not or could not have saved baby Mia. He is God. He is faithful. He could heal baby Mia. He always provides. But why not this time?
In the weeks and months that followed Sarah didn't hide her pain or pretend like all was okay. She was gracefully transparent about her grief, yet she never uttered one word of resentment towards God. I don't know if she and David wrestled privately with God for answers, but never did they utter a single word of blame towards God.
Sarah and David walked through the refiner's fire and came out with an amazing testimony. And this is when God redefined my definition of faithful. Somehow, somewhere, in the midst of their grief, God provided Sarah and David with a lasting faith in Him. He provided them with a faith that despite heartbreaking loss, grew even stronger. This is what faithful is: when everything in the world is stripped away and you have nothing left but God, He proves to be enough. He provides. Himself.
I imagine that Sarah and David might be celebrities in heaven. :)
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Friday, November 15, 2013
Engage
We are two thirds of the way through a three month course that my husband is required to take for his next job. That means we moved about two months ago and we're about to move (again) in less than a month. My heart was dreading this move.... I left a fantastic community of folks with whom I have some rich relationships and three months is not an ideal amount of time for us (my kids included) to make new friends. It's one thing to meet someone you like....it's another thing to have time to nurture that relationship.
God has been challenging me, though, to still get 'out there' and meet folks. Talk to the other moms who are waiting with me during dance class, chat it up with the check out lady, invite someone over for dinner, etc. Sure, chances are I won't find another lifelong friendship in our short stint here (again....relationships just plain 'ol take time), but I'm convinced that God wants us to be engaged with the world around us. He showed us this in Jesus' life on earth. Jesus engaged with humanity...in such a real way. Even with people we probably wouldn't like.
That's so different from how I tend to react to things I don't like. I've noticed this in my parenting...to be quite frank, I don't really like barbie dolls and all the princess stuff (go figure, we have three girls! and they'll ALL be in highschool at the same time someday!). I never had it growing up and just don't see a need for it now. and I want to shelter them from so many things that I think they represent....warped sense of body image, choice of clothing, etc (just my opinion). But have you noticed princess stuff is EVERYWHERE? It's really, really hard to avoid. In some sense, to some degree, I've avoided engaging in the part of the world that my little girls live in that revolves around all things princess. It's time to change that.
Christ's example for us on earth was not to run away or avoid things we don't like. He engaged in society....even parts and people of society that we're SO wrong. Actually, ESPECIALLY those. He tackled some awkward moments and engaged them head on... he TOUCHED the leper, he conversed with a Samaritan - a woman, no less, he ate with a tax collector, the list could go on and on. And that's when lives were changed. Forever.
As christians, when we choose to engage this world, even the parts that may offend us or that we simply don't really like, we open the door for Christ's amazing grace to transform lives. Sure, He can change lives with or without us. He doesn't need us. But when we choose to engage in this world He created - the good, the bad and the ugly, we get to be that much more a part of His work. I just hope there aren't barbie dolls in heaven!
God has been challenging me, though, to still get 'out there' and meet folks. Talk to the other moms who are waiting with me during dance class, chat it up with the check out lady, invite someone over for dinner, etc. Sure, chances are I won't find another lifelong friendship in our short stint here (again....relationships just plain 'ol take time), but I'm convinced that God wants us to be engaged with the world around us. He showed us this in Jesus' life on earth. Jesus engaged with humanity...in such a real way. Even with people we probably wouldn't like.
That's so different from how I tend to react to things I don't like. I've noticed this in my parenting...to be quite frank, I don't really like barbie dolls and all the princess stuff (go figure, we have three girls! and they'll ALL be in highschool at the same time someday!). I never had it growing up and just don't see a need for it now. and I want to shelter them from so many things that I think they represent....warped sense of body image, choice of clothing, etc (just my opinion). But have you noticed princess stuff is EVERYWHERE? It's really, really hard to avoid. In some sense, to some degree, I've avoided engaging in the part of the world that my little girls live in that revolves around all things princess. It's time to change that.
Christ's example for us on earth was not to run away or avoid things we don't like. He engaged in society....even parts and people of society that we're SO wrong. Actually, ESPECIALLY those. He tackled some awkward moments and engaged them head on... he TOUCHED the leper, he conversed with a Samaritan - a woman, no less, he ate with a tax collector, the list could go on and on. And that's when lives were changed. Forever.
As christians, when we choose to engage this world, even the parts that may offend us or that we simply don't really like, we open the door for Christ's amazing grace to transform lives. Sure, He can change lives with or without us. He doesn't need us. But when we choose to engage in this world He created - the good, the bad and the ugly, we get to be that much more a part of His work. I just hope there aren't barbie dolls in heaven!
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Focus
Several thoughts/ideas have been ruminating in my mind recently....and they are starting to run together so I wanted to write and sort them out.
I'm surrounded by some pretty incredibly talented folks...family, friends, people I happen to cross paths with. And often, it gets me thinking...what am I doing that's significant?? What else can I do/how else can I contribute to something bigger and better than me? I have four young kids and am homeschooling and I know I'm investing in something of eternal worth: their souls. I KNOW that is important....but I can't deny that I often daydream of what could have been and might be someday. It's not that I am not thankful for what I have or that I want to change what I have - I am very aware of how blessed I truly am; I'm completely at peace with our decision regarding how we 'do' family. It's just that in my heart of hearts, I know that some of the gifts and passions God has given me aren't used to their full potential right now. And I'm learning that that is okay.
As I've been turning this over in my mind, I read a blog post yesterday by Ann Voskamp about the destructiveness of comparison. I think girls are way more susceptible to comparing themselves to each other, but I'm sure everyone suffers from it to some degree. Her blog resonated with me in every way - how it's destructive both for the comparer and the compared. And it got me thinking.... so what is the cure?? I KNOW that comparison is not only the 'thief of joy', but that it goes a step further and destroys...relationships. It's b.a.d. But what do we do to avoid it? How do we get around it? How do we prevent it? What is the cure???
And then God renewed for me the passage in 1 Samuel 16 about the choosing of David as the next King. When Samuel is led by God to anoint David, guess what David was doing??? Tending sheep. Yep...sheep. I'm not a bible scholar, but I'm pretty sure the prestigious job of the day was not tending sheep. I'm guessing that David didn't think to himself 'whew, I'm doing some seriously important work here...my sheep tending (shepherding??) is changing the world!"and I'm pretty sure he wasn't comparing his flock to others. "Man, John's sheep are SO much better behaved than mine....and Sam's sheep are SO smart... and Ezekial's sheep are SO athletic....and so on.." Instead, (here's where God really spoke to me) he was just focused on his job at hand. And it was taking care of the sheep. Just plain ol' sheep. In the same way, the only thing I need to do right now is FOCUS on my job at hand. It's when I start day dreaming about other jobs and wondering how much better other folks are doing this job of raising their families, homeschooling, juggling careers, etc., that I get terribly distracted and fall prey to the effects of comparison. All I need to do is focus on my current assignment and God will take care of the rest. He has promised it.
I'm surrounded by some pretty incredibly talented folks...family, friends, people I happen to cross paths with. And often, it gets me thinking...what am I doing that's significant?? What else can I do/how else can I contribute to something bigger and better than me? I have four young kids and am homeschooling and I know I'm investing in something of eternal worth: their souls. I KNOW that is important....but I can't deny that I often daydream of what could have been and might be someday. It's not that I am not thankful for what I have or that I want to change what I have - I am very aware of how blessed I truly am; I'm completely at peace with our decision regarding how we 'do' family. It's just that in my heart of hearts, I know that some of the gifts and passions God has given me aren't used to their full potential right now. And I'm learning that that is okay.
As I've been turning this over in my mind, I read a blog post yesterday by Ann Voskamp about the destructiveness of comparison. I think girls are way more susceptible to comparing themselves to each other, but I'm sure everyone suffers from it to some degree. Her blog resonated with me in every way - how it's destructive both for the comparer and the compared. And it got me thinking.... so what is the cure?? I KNOW that comparison is not only the 'thief of joy', but that it goes a step further and destroys...relationships. It's b.a.d. But what do we do to avoid it? How do we get around it? How do we prevent it? What is the cure???
And then God renewed for me the passage in 1 Samuel 16 about the choosing of David as the next King. When Samuel is led by God to anoint David, guess what David was doing??? Tending sheep. Yep...sheep. I'm not a bible scholar, but I'm pretty sure the prestigious job of the day was not tending sheep. I'm guessing that David didn't think to himself 'whew, I'm doing some seriously important work here...my sheep tending (shepherding??) is changing the world!"and I'm pretty sure he wasn't comparing his flock to others. "Man, John's sheep are SO much better behaved than mine....and Sam's sheep are SO smart... and Ezekial's sheep are SO athletic....and so on.." Instead, (here's where God really spoke to me) he was just focused on his job at hand. And it was taking care of the sheep. Just plain ol' sheep. In the same way, the only thing I need to do right now is FOCUS on my job at hand. It's when I start day dreaming about other jobs and wondering how much better other folks are doing this job of raising their families, homeschooling, juggling careers, etc., that I get terribly distracted and fall prey to the effects of comparison. All I need to do is focus on my current assignment and God will take care of the rest. He has promised it.
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
More of Him
A while back as I was in my quiet time and the big move was on my mind, I asked the Lord to just show me how to know Him more. Not come to Him with requests, venting or anything else (nothing wrong with presenting prayers and requests, though!)...just how to KNOW Him better. I realized that the toughest part about moving was leaving the people in our community of friends and neighbors....because we knew our friends and they knew us. That's what makes a relationship a relationship. It's not just an exchange of goods and services (though I LOVE taste testing chocolate chip cookies!), but it's knowing others and being known. And so I wanted to figure out how to know God better. To love Him more as I knew Him more. More of Him.
And today it started to come together.... In Romans 4:20, it says of Abraham "..but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God." That verse is in the middle of the passage describing how Abraham trusted God, believed in His word and how that all added up to righteousness. It's a passage that always makes me slow down when I read it....it's a lot to chew on because I'm so not there...yet. I read that on September 11th.
And today I read in Luke 11:33-36 "Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is full of light, but when it is bad, your body is full of darkness." Some might interpret this as the whole idea of how we see life in terms of 'glass half full or glass half empty'. I want to take it a step further... it's 'having an eye' to see God in everything. Some of my friends are gifted with 'an eye for fashion/interior design'...they see a space, a piece, a color...and they can put it all together to create beautiful spaces. Just the same, when this passage in Luke talks about your eye being healthy, I think it means to have an eye that sees God and His faithfulness in everything.
And here it comes full circle...when our 'eye is healthy' and we see the hand of God at work in everything around us, we can't help but give Glory to God and just like Abraham, our faith will grow strong. And that, I believe, is how we are to know Him better. I'm pretty confident that our heart's desire to just know Him and actually doing it make Him smile. I'm confident because that is what I'm missing most right now... to be known by folks where we are now living. We're surrounded by plenty of people - Richmond is a big place! But to be surrounded by folks and to be known by folks/friends is so different. If our desires and the way we crave to be in relationship with others is a semblance of how our God designed us to be in relationship with Him, then I'm going to keep my eye open to see more of Him.
And today it started to come together.... In Romans 4:20, it says of Abraham "..but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God." That verse is in the middle of the passage describing how Abraham trusted God, believed in His word and how that all added up to righteousness. It's a passage that always makes me slow down when I read it....it's a lot to chew on because I'm so not there...yet. I read that on September 11th.
And today I read in Luke 11:33-36 "Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is full of light, but when it is bad, your body is full of darkness." Some might interpret this as the whole idea of how we see life in terms of 'glass half full or glass half empty'. I want to take it a step further... it's 'having an eye' to see God in everything. Some of my friends are gifted with 'an eye for fashion/interior design'...they see a space, a piece, a color...and they can put it all together to create beautiful spaces. Just the same, when this passage in Luke talks about your eye being healthy, I think it means to have an eye that sees God and His faithfulness in everything.
And here it comes full circle...when our 'eye is healthy' and we see the hand of God at work in everything around us, we can't help but give Glory to God and just like Abraham, our faith will grow strong. And that, I believe, is how we are to know Him better. I'm pretty confident that our heart's desire to just know Him and actually doing it make Him smile. I'm confident because that is what I'm missing most right now... to be known by folks where we are now living. We're surrounded by plenty of people - Richmond is a big place! But to be surrounded by folks and to be known by folks/friends is so different. If our desires and the way we crave to be in relationship with others is a semblance of how our God designed us to be in relationship with Him, then I'm going to keep my eye open to see more of Him.
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Our first DITY move.....
I had no thoughts of continuing a blog after Whole 30, but since our arrival in Virginia there has been so much that I wanted to give thanks to God for and so many folks to share it with so here goes....
First off, I would not recommend a DITY move as the least stressful method of moving a family of four kids and two dogs. Just sayin'. That said... we had so much help from friends and if there was ever a time for our family to do a DITY, this was it!
From watching our kiddos, providing meals, packing boxes, loading boxes and furniture, cleaning out our garage, praying for our sanity, and throwing a farewell ice cream partay, our friends were there EVERY step of the way. Truly, this was a team effort. Did I mention we are a family of six (that's a lot of food to make and four extra kids to watch!)?? And our friends aren't exactly in what you a call a 'slow' season of life. Classes had just kicked off and yet our friends provided in every way.
If I had known what the day of our drive was going to be like I would have just crawled back under the covers.... isn't God good in NOT letting us know the future?? :) I'll just say we had loose ends that took up more time than we allowed for and our drive was way slower than what we had in mind (our max speed with the trailer was about 55 mph), hence our arrival to our new home at 1:15 a.m. and finally getting to bed after 3 a.m. The only way I stayed awake for the drive was the prayers of many, drive thru starbucks and perfect snacks from friends. Seriously, I was t.i.r.e.d.
Homesickness (for friends, neighbors that I know, playground for the kids, familiarity with streets, etc) has hit me several times a day since our arrival....but I am reminded constantly that God has plans for us here as well.
The day after our arrival I went to the grocery store with the kids while Rich unpacked....and my first stop was another drive thru starbucks. Twice in two days - that's a record for me. I almost cried on the way there because I had no idea where I was and took a wrong turn within 3 minutes of leaving the house and I was plain 'ol tired. But the gal at the window, who was at least 15 years younger than me, called me 'darlin' and I had to smile. She also told me which grocery store was the best... and I ended up agreeing because as I was parking, I found a special spot for us. :)
This is what I found at the end of our grocery trip.... BLUE BELL!!!!! I have been craving this for YEARS. I made a commitment and a promise to the kids right then and there: we will try EVERY flavor before we move! :)
First off, I would not recommend a DITY move as the least stressful method of moving a family of four kids and two dogs. Just sayin'. That said... we had so much help from friends and if there was ever a time for our family to do a DITY, this was it!
From watching our kiddos, providing meals, packing boxes, loading boxes and furniture, cleaning out our garage, praying for our sanity, and throwing a farewell ice cream partay, our friends were there EVERY step of the way. Truly, this was a team effort. Did I mention we are a family of six (that's a lot of food to make and four extra kids to watch!)?? And our friends aren't exactly in what you a call a 'slow' season of life. Classes had just kicked off and yet our friends provided in every way.
If I had known what the day of our drive was going to be like I would have just crawled back under the covers.... isn't God good in NOT letting us know the future?? :) I'll just say we had loose ends that took up more time than we allowed for and our drive was way slower than what we had in mind (our max speed with the trailer was about 55 mph), hence our arrival to our new home at 1:15 a.m. and finally getting to bed after 3 a.m. The only way I stayed awake for the drive was the prayers of many, drive thru starbucks and perfect snacks from friends. Seriously, I was t.i.r.e.d.
The day after our arrival I went to the grocery store with the kids while Rich unpacked....and my first stop was another drive thru starbucks. Twice in two days - that's a record for me. I almost cried on the way there because I had no idea where I was and took a wrong turn within 3 minutes of leaving the house and I was plain 'ol tired. But the gal at the window, who was at least 15 years younger than me, called me 'darlin' and I had to smile. She also told me which grocery store was the best... and I ended up agreeing because as I was parking, I found a special spot for us. :)
And as I left the grocery store, the kind gentleman who was bagging our groceries helped me to the car with them and then proceeded to tell me that I'm not allowed to tip! say what?!?
Today we went to a church that Rich researched on line and I was kind of nervous about going.... we only have a few months here so I was really praying that it would be one we could plug into right away... and one where our kids would feel comfortable. As we registered our kids for their classes, they were each handed a stuff animal to help them find their classrooms....and guess what Ada Jo got? A Zebra!!!!! For some reason, she loves zebras and if you ask her what they say, she says 'zeeb, zeeb'. Thank you, Lord.
I'm missing our friends like crazy, but am encouraged with all the ways God reminds us that He is with us....no matter where we go. Psalm 139:5 "You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me."
We're working on making this place our new home for however long God chooses for us to be here. Many, many humble thanks to all our friends and family.
Sunday, March 17, 2013
In the end
I can say that Whole 30 was overall a valuable experience.
It's been a while since my last post because I've been busy not being busy. :) Actually, it was spring break, my oldest's 5th birthday, and we've had some projects to work on around here...there's always a project in progress!
So, some of my final thoughts on Whole 30. I now realize that I am indeed very 'addictable' ( I'm not sure if that's an actual word, but I'm making it an actual word for now). I should have realized this when my husband bought me a tv DVD series intended to last for a few months and we finished it in one night. Just as I am easily addicted to tv drama series, I am indeed a little addicted to sugar... or just the taste of 'sweet'.
Whole 30 has at least adjusted my palate for sweetness and now I don't require so much 'sweet' to satiate my sweet tooth. Ok, enough 'sweets'.
Something else more significant I've noted: when I don't have to eat a certain way because I'm not on Whole 30 I actually enjoy eating Whole 30 compliant. Does that make sense? In the past few days since Whole 30 has been over, I've actually made some dinners that were Whole 30 compliant without really intending to...it's just how they turned out. And for some reason I thought they tasted even better than they probably would have just six days ago.
Lastly, I know that I have certain 'triggers' that can set off a foul mood... I still can't say that having more sugar is necessarily one of those triggers, but going to bed too late, not getting enough sleep, not waking up early enough to read my Bible and be ahead of my kids, not exercising and not having a creative outlet are some of my personal triggers. In lieu of maintaining a strict Whole 30 diet, I've realized that maintaining these personal disciplines are more important for my daily routine.
I hope some of these observations have been helpful or at least entertaining for anyone reading this....I'm glad for the experience of Whole 30 and even more glad to have enjoyed my bowl of ice cream tonight!
It's been a while since my last post because I've been busy not being busy. :) Actually, it was spring break, my oldest's 5th birthday, and we've had some projects to work on around here...there's always a project in progress!
So, some of my final thoughts on Whole 30. I now realize that I am indeed very 'addictable' ( I'm not sure if that's an actual word, but I'm making it an actual word for now). I should have realized this when my husband bought me a tv DVD series intended to last for a few months and we finished it in one night. Just as I am easily addicted to tv drama series, I am indeed a little addicted to sugar... or just the taste of 'sweet'.
Whole 30 has at least adjusted my palate for sweetness and now I don't require so much 'sweet' to satiate my sweet tooth. Ok, enough 'sweets'.
Something else more significant I've noted: when I don't have to eat a certain way because I'm not on Whole 30 I actually enjoy eating Whole 30 compliant. Does that make sense? In the past few days since Whole 30 has been over, I've actually made some dinners that were Whole 30 compliant without really intending to...it's just how they turned out. And for some reason I thought they tasted even better than they probably would have just six days ago.
Lastly, I know that I have certain 'triggers' that can set off a foul mood... I still can't say that having more sugar is necessarily one of those triggers, but going to bed too late, not getting enough sleep, not waking up early enough to read my Bible and be ahead of my kids, not exercising and not having a creative outlet are some of my personal triggers. In lieu of maintaining a strict Whole 30 diet, I've realized that maintaining these personal disciplines are more important for my daily routine.
I hope some of these observations have been helpful or at least entertaining for anyone reading this....I'm glad for the experience of Whole 30 and even more glad to have enjoyed my bowl of ice cream tonight!
Monday, March 11, 2013
Day 27 - cost and balance
Can I get a whoop whoop for tomorrow being my last day?!?!? I'm pretty excited....and even more excited to celebrate my oldest's birthday!
I read an article earlier today about an extreme successful businesswoman who, in reflection, talks about how her success in the business world came at a cost that was not worth it. The cost was her personal life...or rather lack of.
And it got me thinking about how everything has a cost.....not just in dollars, but in time, mental and emotional energy, personal relationships, etc. And we often struggle to keep the costs in balance.
Speaking in terms of Whole 30 - regarding monetary cost: it certainly costs a bit more for a diet in mostly meat and produce...BUT I did become more aware of how much I had previously spent on alcohol, dairy, and baked goods. And of course, I became much more aware of how much time I spent in the kitchen during Whole 30...and the cost of it.
And the same applies to the cost we're willing to pay for entertainment, clothes, furniture, exercise, etc. The same goes for saving money: what am I willing to pay to save money? my time, energy, etc. For me, it all boils down to my priorities. What do I consider important enough to spend my time and energy on? See, you can't have it all. Everything costs something.
With Whole 30 I've seen just how much healthier I can eat...and now I know firsthand the costs associated with it. Same goes with the job I used to have....I know how much fulfillment, enjoyment, satisfaction, identity, security, significance, etc I can find in a job, but having been a stay at home mom for almost five years now I know the cost is more than I am willing to pay.
Just as I am grateful for the time I had working, I'm grateful for the chance to do Whole 30, but I am ready to rebalance my priorities for what I consider to be an acceptable price.
I read an article earlier today about an extreme successful businesswoman who, in reflection, talks about how her success in the business world came at a cost that was not worth it. The cost was her personal life...or rather lack of.
And it got me thinking about how everything has a cost.....not just in dollars, but in time, mental and emotional energy, personal relationships, etc. And we often struggle to keep the costs in balance.
Speaking in terms of Whole 30 - regarding monetary cost: it certainly costs a bit more for a diet in mostly meat and produce...BUT I did become more aware of how much I had previously spent on alcohol, dairy, and baked goods. And of course, I became much more aware of how much time I spent in the kitchen during Whole 30...and the cost of it.
And the same applies to the cost we're willing to pay for entertainment, clothes, furniture, exercise, etc. The same goes for saving money: what am I willing to pay to save money? my time, energy, etc. For me, it all boils down to my priorities. What do I consider important enough to spend my time and energy on? See, you can't have it all. Everything costs something.
With Whole 30 I've seen just how much healthier I can eat...and now I know firsthand the costs associated with it. Same goes with the job I used to have....I know how much fulfillment, enjoyment, satisfaction, identity, security, significance, etc I can find in a job, but having been a stay at home mom for almost five years now I know the cost is more than I am willing to pay.
Just as I am grateful for the time I had working, I'm grateful for the chance to do Whole 30, but I am ready to rebalance my priorities for what I consider to be an acceptable price.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Day 25 & 26 - recalibrate
Our pastor has often talked about how sometimes we need a little bit of 'recalibration' in our relationship with God. In other words, sometimes, we're walking in step with Him...then along come distractions, bitterness, busyness, indifference, ingratitude.... all things that get us out of sync with Him and then we need to 'recalibrate' to get back in step with Him.
We talked a bit last night about what we'll do after Whole 30. There are definitely some benefits gained from Whole 30....but it's not a regimen that is sustainable for this season of our lives. So, do we totally ditch what we've gleaned and go back to all our old habits or is there a medium?
For me, now that I've experienced it, I can use this to recalibrate my diet. If I know that I've been indulging in a little bit too much of this or that, or feeling like my insides could use a good 'clean' the guidelines of Whole 30 will be a good place to start. It certainly can't be a bad thing to strip my diet down to the basics of vegetables, meats and fruits.... for a limited time, at least.
And back to the question from Friday.... to eat or not to eat. cake. Well, I think I've made up my decision. I will be doing the Whole 28. :) I'm happy with the decision. And being very honest with myself I have absolutely no heartache over the decision. And now I will finish out the last two days and be ready to share some ice cream and cake with my son, who is soooooo excited to turn 5! 5 years is the mark of us being parents for half the time that we've been married....seems significant to me. :)
We talked a bit last night about what we'll do after Whole 30. There are definitely some benefits gained from Whole 30....but it's not a regimen that is sustainable for this season of our lives. So, do we totally ditch what we've gleaned and go back to all our old habits or is there a medium?
For me, now that I've experienced it, I can use this to recalibrate my diet. If I know that I've been indulging in a little bit too much of this or that, or feeling like my insides could use a good 'clean' the guidelines of Whole 30 will be a good place to start. It certainly can't be a bad thing to strip my diet down to the basics of vegetables, meats and fruits.... for a limited time, at least.
And back to the question from Friday.... to eat or not to eat. cake. Well, I think I've made up my decision. I will be doing the Whole 28. :) I'm happy with the decision. And being very honest with myself I have absolutely no heartache over the decision. And now I will finish out the last two days and be ready to share some ice cream and cake with my son, who is soooooo excited to turn 5! 5 years is the mark of us being parents for half the time that we've been married....seems significant to me. :)
Day 24 - my dilemma
So, after I wrote yesterday's blog I realized that I had miscalculated day 30. For whatever reason, I had in mind that day 31 was my oldest's 5th birthday......but after I wrote that yesterday was the one week mark I realized that my son's birthday is actually Day 28! :( Yep, it's kind of embarrassing that I miscalculated the dates, but I can blame it on February being a short month.... or just that I did bad math! :(
So, here is my dilemma. Do I finish out the 30 days like I had intended or will I just call it and partake of ice cream and birthday cake??? It's not so much that not eating ice cream or cake would ruin the birthday party (my son probably wouldn't even notice), but it's what I would remember. I don't want to remember his 5th birthday party (which is extra special just because he is sssooooo excited about it!) and always have the 'yep, but I didn't have any ice cream with him because I was doing that whole 30 thing' as part of it.
And so far I haven't felt any extraordinary effects as a result of Whole 30 so I don't think two less days would be notable.... and just like the exclusion of regular white potatoes is somewhat arbitrary, I wonder if the '30' versus '28' days is arbitrary.
Then again, I'd be ssoooo close to doing the whole Whole 30! It may be my pride that gets me in the end....
As for today's recordings: it was a long day....and today we were snowed in so that always makes for what seems like even longer days. Which leads me to more of a 'getting by' standard of eating....which means I ate a LOT of brussel sprouts today! I've been trying out new recipes and I'm a bit addicted (I know, I know...isn't the whole point of Whole 30 to break me of food addictions???) to the savory taste of roasted brussel sprouts. Seriously. I. ate. a. lot. of. brussel. sprouts. Probably the equivalent of a month's worth.
More to follow this weekend on my decision about 28 vs 30!
So, here is my dilemma. Do I finish out the 30 days like I had intended or will I just call it and partake of ice cream and birthday cake??? It's not so much that not eating ice cream or cake would ruin the birthday party (my son probably wouldn't even notice), but it's what I would remember. I don't want to remember his 5th birthday party (which is extra special just because he is sssooooo excited about it!) and always have the 'yep, but I didn't have any ice cream with him because I was doing that whole 30 thing' as part of it.
And so far I haven't felt any extraordinary effects as a result of Whole 30 so I don't think two less days would be notable.... and just like the exclusion of regular white potatoes is somewhat arbitrary, I wonder if the '30' versus '28' days is arbitrary.
Then again, I'd be ssoooo close to doing the whole Whole 30! It may be my pride that gets me in the end....
As for today's recordings: it was a long day....and today we were snowed in so that always makes for what seems like even longer days. Which leads me to more of a 'getting by' standard of eating....which means I ate a LOT of brussel sprouts today! I've been trying out new recipes and I'm a bit addicted (I know, I know...isn't the whole point of Whole 30 to break me of food addictions???) to the savory taste of roasted brussel sprouts. Seriously. I. ate. a. lot. of. brussel. sprouts. Probably the equivalent of a month's worth.
More to follow this weekend on my decision about 28 vs 30!
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Day 23 - one week left!
Can I get a big whoop whoop???
Homestretch...... then I canraid slowly start enjoying all the little goodies that i've stashed away in the freezer. :) Delayed gratification will taste soooo good!
I think the biggest thing I realized today is that just in the same way that I like variety in all things ( clothes, color, sports, hairstyles, etc), I like variety in my foods/tastes. It's what I miss the most while doing Whole 30. I've mentioned before that I like to end meals on a sweet note (a mint, or dessert!)...and I think it's because it rounds out the variety of flavors I crave. I like savory and sweet. One isn't quite so good without the other.
On Whole 30 it's mostly been a palate of savory.... and I get tired of just one thing pretty easily. Sweet isn't such a bad thing - sweet and sour, sweet and salty, etc. Just like you can't appreciate the light without the dark, you can't fully appreciate the savory without the sweet (or at least I can't). And so I find that my appetite is not quite satiated at the day's end because I haven't had that 'sweet' variety. I keep trying to make up for it with a different flavor/seasoning on my meat, different veggies, different way of preparing veggies, different types of nuts, etc, but you just can't use a counterfeit for the real deal.
I think that can apply to many areas of life...trying to fill our soul's real need for a Savior with so many other 'shiny' things. Our souls , deep down, know the difference and my taste buds do, too! Ain't no chicken rub/sautee/veggie wrap/roast/whatever gonna fulfill the yearning for a lick of some sweet, creamy ice cream!
So, what's my conclusion? Everything in moderation. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Moderation.
Homestretch...... then I can
I think the biggest thing I realized today is that just in the same way that I like variety in all things ( clothes, color, sports, hairstyles, etc), I like variety in my foods/tastes. It's what I miss the most while doing Whole 30. I've mentioned before that I like to end meals on a sweet note (a mint, or dessert!)...and I think it's because it rounds out the variety of flavors I crave. I like savory and sweet. One isn't quite so good without the other.
On Whole 30 it's mostly been a palate of savory.... and I get tired of just one thing pretty easily. Sweet isn't such a bad thing - sweet and sour, sweet and salty, etc. Just like you can't appreciate the light without the dark, you can't fully appreciate the savory without the sweet (or at least I can't). And so I find that my appetite is not quite satiated at the day's end because I haven't had that 'sweet' variety. I keep trying to make up for it with a different flavor/seasoning on my meat, different veggies, different way of preparing veggies, different types of nuts, etc, but you just can't use a counterfeit for the real deal.
I think that can apply to many areas of life...trying to fill our soul's real need for a Savior with so many other 'shiny' things. Our souls , deep down, know the difference and my taste buds do, too! Ain't no chicken rub/sautee/veggie wrap/roast/whatever gonna fulfill the yearning for a lick of some sweet, creamy ice cream!
So, what's my conclusion? Everything in moderation. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Moderation.
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Day 22 - Control
Expanding from yesterday's topic of 'if I only knew'... it comes down to control (personally, speaking...and maybe for you, whoever you reader person may be :)).
It's about wanting to have control... I'm tempted to say more moms are controlfreaks advocates than the rest of the general population..but I could be wrong (it's just because that's the world I'm most intimately familiar with right now...I guess high powered business/career folks are, too?). Anyway, we like control...and to a certain degree it is good. While my children are young, it is good for me to have control over them lest they run into the street, climb on a hot stove or jump on their infant sibling. BUT, we often want to have control because we're under the delusion that we actually have control.
The thing I've learned a lot of recently is that we DON'T have control... (self control and reacting to situations, is a different type of control that I'm talking about). Often times, we are faced with situations that were simply out of our control. After that, the only thing we DO have control over is how we react to the situation that was out of our control. Make sense?
And so it goes with Whole 30 and any other food belief system. Based on all the scientific evidence, research, testimonials, 'proof', we think that we need to control what we eat because of what it will do/does to us. And it can become consuming. I thought of this because I was remembering again when we were deployed and had pretty much no control over what we ate... aside from the mess hall versus Burger King (yes, we had BK in the middle of the desert!). My choice was shelf stable chocolate milk or shelf stable banana flavored milk. Yep. Chocolate milk every time and you know what? I actually thought it tasted good! I had no control of the food I ate and I don't remember being stressed once about food while I was deployed (except when we had to scrounge the MRE box and found the jambalaya.... no thank you!).
Once I realize/remember that I am not in control, it actually brings a great deal of freedom. So what? - I didn't have a chance to put together an organic, free range, non-GMO, gluten-free, paleo/whole 30 compliant lunch for my kiddos. Breathe. They had pop tarts today. Breathe. Something fell off my plate (no pun intended), they had a pop tart (and loved every bite of it) and they're going to be just fine. I can only try to control so much, but the rest is in the hands of the God Almighty and that is quite a relief to me.
It's about wanting to have control... I'm tempted to say more moms are control
The thing I've learned a lot of recently is that we DON'T have control... (self control and reacting to situations, is a different type of control that I'm talking about). Often times, we are faced with situations that were simply out of our control. After that, the only thing we DO have control over is how we react to the situation that was out of our control. Make sense?
And so it goes with Whole 30 and any other food belief system. Based on all the scientific evidence, research, testimonials, 'proof', we think that we need to control what we eat because of what it will do/does to us. And it can become consuming. I thought of this because I was remembering again when we were deployed and had pretty much no control over what we ate... aside from the mess hall versus Burger King (yes, we had BK in the middle of the desert!). My choice was shelf stable chocolate milk or shelf stable banana flavored milk. Yep. Chocolate milk every time and you know what? I actually thought it tasted good! I had no control of the food I ate and I don't remember being stressed once about food while I was deployed (except when we had to scrounge the MRE box and found the jambalaya.... no thank you!).
Once I realize/remember that I am not in control, it actually brings a great deal of freedom. So what? - I didn't have a chance to put together an organic, free range, non-GMO, gluten-free, paleo/whole 30 compliant lunch for my kiddos. Breathe. They had pop tarts today. Breathe. Something fell off my plate (no pun intended), they had a pop tart (and loved every bite of it) and they're going to be just fine. I can only try to control so much, but the rest is in the hands of the God Almighty and that is quite a relief to me.
Day 21 - Glad I don't always know...
what is going to happen. Often times, I think "if I just knew it was going to happen" or "if I could just have some predictability"... I think it a lot - in regards to what my day is going to be like, what the traffic is like, where/when our next move will be, etc. When my kids will reach certain milestones, etc. So often I think 'if I just knew'.... if would all be better.
But the thing is, I've come to learn and appreciate the fact that I do not know. If I knew what was about to happen there's a good chance we might not have a fourth baby (and I CAN'T imagine NOT having her with us). I think our minds our too finite to be able to know, process and grasp the infinite world of 'knowns'.
And sometimes, just sometimes, the unknowns and all that goes along with it, is good for us. It makes us trust, produces faith and perseverance and reminds us that we are such limited, finite beings. The unknowns are often trials we're forced to go through, but in the end we come out even more refined...but had we known of the trial to come, we might not have chosen to endure it.
I'm not exactly sure how this is linked with Whole 30....and sorry if I'm not articulating what I mean very well....but it's what's on my heart and I hope to better explain it later.
In the meantime, I had another egg breakfast (with guac, salsa and homemade mayo...can you tell I LOVE condiments?), chicken salad for lunch and another salad for dinner while we were out. Nothing out of this world or exceptional....
But the thing is, I've come to learn and appreciate the fact that I do not know. If I knew what was about to happen there's a good chance we might not have a fourth baby (and I CAN'T imagine NOT having her with us). I think our minds our too finite to be able to know, process and grasp the infinite world of 'knowns'.
And sometimes, just sometimes, the unknowns and all that goes along with it, is good for us. It makes us trust, produces faith and perseverance and reminds us that we are such limited, finite beings. The unknowns are often trials we're forced to go through, but in the end we come out even more refined...but had we known of the trial to come, we might not have chosen to endure it.
I'm not exactly sure how this is linked with Whole 30....and sorry if I'm not articulating what I mean very well....but it's what's on my heart and I hope to better explain it later.
In the meantime, I had another egg breakfast (with guac, salsa and homemade mayo...can you tell I LOVE condiments?), chicken salad for lunch and another salad for dinner while we were out. Nothing out of this world or exceptional....
Monday, March 4, 2013
Day 20 - not a hater
Whoop Whoop! 10 day left!!!! Which means 11 days til my son's birthday! Not sure which I'm more excited about.... see, I get really excited to celebrate birthdays because growing up with both parents working and not much money, birthday celebrations were fairly simple (not that simple is bad!). I just really appreciate having the chance to celebrate. We've also experienced enough heart break in this world to want to take full advantage of the moments to celebrate when we have them. I'm totally off topic, though...
Back to Whole 30. Today's meals consisted of a pretty normal breakfast with fruit, salad with hard boiled eggs, apple and almond butter for a snack and a chicken stew for dinner (crock pot chicken...random spices, veggies and coconut milk for thickening) and sweet potato fries. I love me some sweet potato fries on this diet! Tomorrow will be eggs for breakfast, probably a similar lunch (quick and easy) and mexican dinner of taco seasoned beef and home made guac. :)
So, in regards to the title of today's post, I want to clarify that I am not a Whole 30 Hater. I need to say that because I feel like most of my posts have 'poo pooed' Whole 30. But it very well might be a saving grace for some people. Many have testified to how it has changed their life. It just hasn't for me. That doesn't mean I think it's a total sham.... I know some great folks who wholeheartedly endorse Whole 30. So far, it just has not changed my life in a significant enough way to warrant the significant lifestyle change. I hope this makes sense and is clear.
I read something recently from Acts 3...in speaking about repentance it talks about 'times of refreshing'. And earlier it talks in John 21 about when the disciples caught such a huge load of fish that they could barely haul the net out of the water - they were overwhelmed with how many fish they caught - yet, their net did not tear. See, sometimes, we are pushed to our limits...sometimes with tough times, sometimes with blessings....we're often given more than what we think we can handle, but the Lord always upholds us (He promises to every time) and He brings times of refreshing.
I know that it may seem like I complain about the amount of effort Whole 30 requires (at least when you're feeding a family of little ones), but it's not because of the effort that I discount Whole 30. It's because there haven't really been 'times of refreshing' along with the extra effort. I hope that makes sense. In other words, I'm not opposed to eating healthy and working a little harder to eat healthier and be a good steward of our bodies. I just haven't seen the 'tiger blood' or 'easy sleep' after 20 days with a significant amount of my resources (being time and energy) devoted to Whole 30 thus far.
If it works for you, good for you! I'm just trying to record my honest observations. Maybe I will see more a difference after Whole 30, as I start adding things back into my diet....?
Back to Whole 30. Today's meals consisted of a pretty normal breakfast with fruit, salad with hard boiled eggs, apple and almond butter for a snack and a chicken stew for dinner (crock pot chicken...random spices, veggies and coconut milk for thickening) and sweet potato fries. I love me some sweet potato fries on this diet! Tomorrow will be eggs for breakfast, probably a similar lunch (quick and easy) and mexican dinner of taco seasoned beef and home made guac. :)
So, in regards to the title of today's post, I want to clarify that I am not a Whole 30 Hater. I need to say that because I feel like most of my posts have 'poo pooed' Whole 30. But it very well might be a saving grace for some people. Many have testified to how it has changed their life. It just hasn't for me. That doesn't mean I think it's a total sham.... I know some great folks who wholeheartedly endorse Whole 30. So far, it just has not changed my life in a significant enough way to warrant the significant lifestyle change. I hope this makes sense and is clear.
I read something recently from Acts 3...in speaking about repentance it talks about 'times of refreshing'. And earlier it talks in John 21 about when the disciples caught such a huge load of fish that they could barely haul the net out of the water - they were overwhelmed with how many fish they caught - yet, their net did not tear. See, sometimes, we are pushed to our limits...sometimes with tough times, sometimes with blessings....we're often given more than what we think we can handle, but the Lord always upholds us (He promises to every time) and He brings times of refreshing.
I know that it may seem like I complain about the amount of effort Whole 30 requires (at least when you're feeding a family of little ones), but it's not because of the effort that I discount Whole 30. It's because there haven't really been 'times of refreshing' along with the extra effort. I hope that makes sense. In other words, I'm not opposed to eating healthy and working a little harder to eat healthier and be a good steward of our bodies. I just haven't seen the 'tiger blood' or 'easy sleep' after 20 days with a significant amount of my resources (being time and energy) devoted to Whole 30 thus far.
If it works for you, good for you! I'm just trying to record my honest observations. Maybe I will see more a difference after Whole 30, as I start adding things back into my diet....?
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Day 17- try, try and try again
So glad I have cauliflower rice another 'go'. I tried it again today and for whatever reason it turned out delicious!! And it was really easy, too! And also had chocolate chili, which turned out better than imagined. I only tried the cauliflower rice again because of a friend's enthusiastic post about the many different uses of it... I figured if she really liked it THAT much I could give it another go! So, I leaned that though something may not have worked the first time, trying again can't hurt.
And I had the rice with kimchee and guess what??? No gas! Maybe it's the combination? Maybe extra fermentation time? I don't know why, but what a nice side effect ( or lack thereof).
That's all for today... Nothing ground breaking.... But another sweet day shared with good friends.
And I had the rice with kimchee and guess what??? No gas! Maybe it's the combination? Maybe extra fermentation time? I don't know why, but what a nice side effect ( or lack thereof).
That's all for today... Nothing ground breaking.... But another sweet day shared with good friends.
Days 18 &19 - Fear
Whoa! Oopsie daisy - did I really let 2 days go again without recording my entries?
Well, I'll get to the point of today's entry: Who/What do you fear?
Our pastor mentioned something in our sermon this morning about fears and how they can be correctly/incorrectly placed. For example, if you don't fear God, then you will fear many, many other things in life....everything from dying of cancer to fear of what people think of you. BUT, if you fear God FIRST, then all other fears fade and take second stage. I'm not trying to minimize things that are legit fears ... two of my kids had to be screened by a pediatric neurologist last week..I understand fears. But if we fear God first and foremost, then everything else can be put in perspective.
This got me thinking about Whole 30 and why people do it. As a girl, I KNOW that so many of us struggle with body image - aka being skinny. We fear other people not thinking we're skinny enough and we flat out fear knowing that we're not as skinny as we want to be. Why? Because somehow our culture has defined beauty as skinny. I know some of those that are genetically blessed may say that being skinny isn't all that, but I would challenge them because if they all the sudden lost their 'skinny gene', I bet the pursuit of being 'skinny' would become paramount. I say that because I used to be like that. Before having kids, being thin was easy....I worked out if/when I wanted to, ate pretty much what I wanted to and never had to worry about being thin and I would tell folks that being thin wasn't such a big deal. But post four kiddos and my metabolism slowing down and having to work a little harder to fit into my jeans, I now truly understand the desire/pursuit to be skinny.
So how does that all tie in with fears? Because I wonder if it's the fear of our body image that drives some folks to do Whole 30. I'm not saying everyone....but some. And the fear of eating something 'bad', 'evil', 'dirty', etc. And what I learned this morning is that the biggest 'fear' I should have is what I will face on the day of judgement. When I stand before the God of the Universe I desperately want to hear Him say 'well done, good and faithful servant'. I fear not having loved God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength because I was too busy being afraid of other things.
I don't know if this will make sense to everyone, but it convicted my heart today. I need to fear one thing and one thing only....and it is not 'not being skinny' or 'unclean food'.
Well, I'll get to the point of today's entry: Who/What do you fear?
Our pastor mentioned something in our sermon this morning about fears and how they can be correctly/incorrectly placed. For example, if you don't fear God, then you will fear many, many other things in life....everything from dying of cancer to fear of what people think of you. BUT, if you fear God FIRST, then all other fears fade and take second stage. I'm not trying to minimize things that are legit fears ... two of my kids had to be screened by a pediatric neurologist last week..I understand fears. But if we fear God first and foremost, then everything else can be put in perspective.
This got me thinking about Whole 30 and why people do it. As a girl, I KNOW that so many of us struggle with body image - aka being skinny. We fear other people not thinking we're skinny enough and we flat out fear knowing that we're not as skinny as we want to be. Why? Because somehow our culture has defined beauty as skinny. I know some of those that are genetically blessed may say that being skinny isn't all that, but I would challenge them because if they all the sudden lost their 'skinny gene', I bet the pursuit of being 'skinny' would become paramount. I say that because I used to be like that. Before having kids, being thin was easy....I worked out if/when I wanted to, ate pretty much what I wanted to and never had to worry about being thin and I would tell folks that being thin wasn't such a big deal. But post four kiddos and my metabolism slowing down and having to work a little harder to fit into my jeans, I now truly understand the desire/pursuit to be skinny.
So how does that all tie in with fears? Because I wonder if it's the fear of our body image that drives some folks to do Whole 30. I'm not saying everyone....but some. And the fear of eating something 'bad', 'evil', 'dirty', etc. And what I learned this morning is that the biggest 'fear' I should have is what I will face on the day of judgement. When I stand before the God of the Universe I desperately want to hear Him say 'well done, good and faithful servant'. I fear not having loved God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength because I was too busy being afraid of other things.
I don't know if this will make sense to everyone, but it convicted my heart today. I need to fear one thing and one thing only....and it is not 'not being skinny' or 'unclean food'.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Day 15 & 16 - Seasons
I'm combining yesterday's blog with today because we had a late night....but for a good reason. We had the honor of being part of a super special event as our friends got engaged. It's pretty cool to see our friend so in LOVE. Seriously.... I wonder if this is what folks thought of me when I got engaged? It's cute.
But then we got a flat tire on the way home which delayed us a good bit.... and I kept thinking how years ago being out late would not have phased me in the least. And golly, doing Whole 30 sure did not in any way make being up past my bed time any easier! Again - where is that tiger blood???!? I digress..... (but can you tell I could REALLY use that tiger blood?).
And recently I have been dealing with a handful of injuries....separated ab muscles, hernia, back problems, injured achilles tendons, etc... It seems like quite the season of brokenness. This is all a bit humbling because a few years ago, pre-momminess, I was maxing APFTs, did the most sit ups in my unit at one point and could do more pull ups than some guys in my small group. I'm not bragging - honestly - trying to convey just how far I feel from where I used to be.
This is all ties in with what our pastor has been preaching on in Ecclesiastes. Seasons. There are seasons for everything and everyone. Mine seems to be one of physical aches and pains, but hands full with everything one could really ask for - loving family, friends...rich relationships.
This experiment with Whole 30 is a season.... of trying to figure out just exactly how I can be the best steward of my body (diet and exercise) in order to enjoy this season, and the next, and the ones after that, to the fullest. Here is the realization: Whole 30 should serve me, not the other way around. In other words, if Whole 30 is helping me maximize every season of life that God grants me, then great. But if not -if instead it is distracting me from the very things I should be enjoying, then it is not for me.
As for physical observations thus far: 1) OVER HALFWAY THERE! 2) I do feel lighter/thinner in my thighs (surprise, surprise....all that ice cream melting away!) and my pants are a wee bit looser/aka a little less junk in the trunk (or is that because I've worn them so many times without washing...because I don't have time...because I'm cooking!) 3) not much else seems different - I still have what I call my 'baby buddha' ... it needs to go. hello summer!
Speaking of summer...today is the last day of February, which makes tomorrow the first day of March, which in my book is the beginning of SPRING.... and that is a season I'm looking forward to!
But then we got a flat tire on the way home which delayed us a good bit.... and I kept thinking how years ago being out late would not have phased me in the least. And golly, doing Whole 30 sure did not in any way make being up past my bed time any easier! Again - where is that tiger blood???!? I digress..... (but can you tell I could REALLY use that tiger blood?).
And recently I have been dealing with a handful of injuries....separated ab muscles, hernia, back problems, injured achilles tendons, etc... It seems like quite the season of brokenness. This is all a bit humbling because a few years ago, pre-momminess, I was maxing APFTs, did the most sit ups in my unit at one point and could do more pull ups than some guys in my small group. I'm not bragging - honestly - trying to convey just how far I feel from where I used to be.
This is all ties in with what our pastor has been preaching on in Ecclesiastes. Seasons. There are seasons for everything and everyone. Mine seems to be one of physical aches and pains, but hands full with everything one could really ask for - loving family, friends...rich relationships.
This experiment with Whole 30 is a season.... of trying to figure out just exactly how I can be the best steward of my body (diet and exercise) in order to enjoy this season, and the next, and the ones after that, to the fullest. Here is the realization: Whole 30 should serve me, not the other way around. In other words, if Whole 30 is helping me maximize every season of life that God grants me, then great. But if not -if instead it is distracting me from the very things I should be enjoying, then it is not for me.
As for physical observations thus far: 1) OVER HALFWAY THERE! 2) I do feel lighter/thinner in my thighs (surprise, surprise....all that ice cream melting away!) and my pants are a wee bit looser/aka a little less junk in the trunk (or is that because I've worn them so many times without washing...because I don't have time...because I'm cooking!) 3) not much else seems different - I still have what I call my 'baby buddha' ... it needs to go. hello summer!
Speaking of summer...today is the last day of February, which makes tomorrow the first day of March, which in my book is the beginning of SPRING.... and that is a season I'm looking forward to!
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Day 14 - Not Always What You Think
I have a dilemma.
Conventional wisdom says that if you have a reaction to a certain type of food, then it must mean that it's somehow bad for you and you should cut it out. i.e. cutting out dairy due to side effects like bloating, lactose intolerance, etc. And Whole 30 cuts out a lot of foods due to their negative health effects.
But here is my dilemma: and this is WAY more than I would normally ever share...because again, I'm WAY more private than I let most people know. Here goes: kimchee gives me gas. Yikes - I'm embarrassed just writing that....so tempted to delete, delete, delete... Some facts though: I've eaten it pretty much my entire life (every form of it under the sun!), I really like it, and in countless food discussions it is listed as a REALLY good-for-you-so-you-should-learn-to-like-it type food. It has so many health benefits.... yet, if I were to base it just on the symptoms presented, it could easily be considered 'negative'. So why does a super healthy food have such ill effects? Maybe it's just what cabbage does...and pickled/fermented cabbage is like regular cabbage times 10. It's like broccoli..... so good for you, yet it can also cause gas (so I've heard).
Here's my point....in case you got lost in all the above. Just because you have negative side effects from a food it doesn't necessarily mean it is bad for you. Sometimes it is what it is. This just makes me think twice about some of the foods that have been restricted by Whole 30.
Today's observations: I do feel like I had a little bit more energy - but I did sleep in later than normal, didn't work out this morning and I had an appointment canceled this morning so that meant one less thing in our routine, Téa got her morning nap so she wasn't grouchy for the rest of the morning and I had a second cup of coffee. Just not sure exactly what gets the credit for my extra energy. But I certainly did have a little extra pep in my step come 2:00! :)
Conventional wisdom says that if you have a reaction to a certain type of food, then it must mean that it's somehow bad for you and you should cut it out. i.e. cutting out dairy due to side effects like bloating, lactose intolerance, etc. And Whole 30 cuts out a lot of foods due to their negative health effects.
But here is my dilemma: and this is WAY more than I would normally ever share...because again, I'm WAY more private than I let most people know. Here goes: kimchee gives me gas. Yikes - I'm embarrassed just writing that....so tempted to delete, delete, delete... Some facts though: I've eaten it pretty much my entire life (every form of it under the sun!), I really like it, and in countless food discussions it is listed as a REALLY good-for-you-so-you-should-learn-to-like-it type food. It has so many health benefits.... yet, if I were to base it just on the symptoms presented, it could easily be considered 'negative'. So why does a super healthy food have such ill effects? Maybe it's just what cabbage does...and pickled/fermented cabbage is like regular cabbage times 10. It's like broccoli..... so good for you, yet it can also cause gas (so I've heard).
Here's my point....in case you got lost in all the above. Just because you have negative side effects from a food it doesn't necessarily mean it is bad for you. Sometimes it is what it is. This just makes me think twice about some of the foods that have been restricted by Whole 30.
Today's observations: I do feel like I had a little bit more energy - but I did sleep in later than normal, didn't work out this morning and I had an appointment canceled this morning so that meant one less thing in our routine, Téa got her morning nap so she wasn't grouchy for the rest of the morning and I had a second cup of coffee. Just not sure exactly what gets the credit for my extra energy. But I certainly did have a little extra pep in my step come 2:00! :)
Monday, February 25, 2013
Day 13 - Repeats
I'm surprised to say that it's Day 13 and I'm only now really beginning to repeat major meals. Today was only the second time I've made curry during Whole 30....I thought I'd be repeating the same exact meal plan every week, hence cooking each main meal about four times, but with leftovers, eating at a friend's house and some random combinations I haven't been bored of meals...yet. I'm quite pleasantly surprised!
Again, I don't have this 'tiger-blood'/surge in energy that has been mentioned by so many folks.... actually, my days still feel like this: up early, tired around 2 (when kids are having some quiet time), but push through because there is no possibility of catching a nap due to our lovely jack hammer across the street, fall asleep while nursing Téa around 7 and then stay up til 10 ish. Yep, that's how I felt before Whole 30 and still the same. Maybe there should be a Whole 30 version when you're chasing down little ones....
Something that was VERY different today, though, is that I had a very vivid dream last night. It's the most memorable/vivid dream I've had in a while....long story short, we were being held hostage and I had one last chance to grab some items in our house for our family and friends and I immediately started grabbing the SUGAR and COOKIES! While grabbing said sweets, I was totally caught and busted by the hostage-r. hhmm.....subconscious anyone??? I don't know if it's because Téa was up at 4:20 (been a while since she has done that) or a side effect of Whole 30? Either way. It was notable.
Throughout this experience, something that I keep coming back to is just how much the Bible mentions food...seriously, it's mentioned everywhere - Old Testament, New Testament... eat and be merry (Ecclesiastes), miracles of food (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John), etc. So, maybe food was an issue back then as it is today? I particularly noticed Luke 10: 7, 8... It's Jesus' instructions as he sends out the 72, two by two... "and remain in the same house, eating and drinking what they provide....eat what is set before you." It seems to me that Jesus places the importance of relationships over what the actual food is. It's not about what was served...just that fact that it was served and they were told to eat it. Just makes me wonder if we spend too much time worrying about food (which the bible says also not to do! in a slightly different manner...referring to not worrying about what you will eat) - between the Atkins, Whole 30, Paleo, Feast and Famine, Forks over Knives, vegetarians, organic, GMO, local, alkaline, etc, there is no shortage of food belief systems. And most of the time it serves to separate us from one another - i.e. one is better than the other... 'good' foods vs 'evil foods', etc.. in essence, it places food above relationships. And sometimes it causes relationships to be based on foods/food belief systems. I'm all about advocating for being healthy, but I just think there has to be more to this life.
Again, I don't have this 'tiger-blood'/surge in energy that has been mentioned by so many folks.... actually, my days still feel like this: up early, tired around 2 (when kids are having some quiet time), but push through because there is no possibility of catching a nap due to our lovely jack hammer across the street, fall asleep while nursing Téa around 7 and then stay up til 10 ish. Yep, that's how I felt before Whole 30 and still the same. Maybe there should be a Whole 30 version when you're chasing down little ones....
Something that was VERY different today, though, is that I had a very vivid dream last night. It's the most memorable/vivid dream I've had in a while....long story short, we were being held hostage and I had one last chance to grab some items in our house for our family and friends and I immediately started grabbing the SUGAR and COOKIES! While grabbing said sweets, I was totally caught and busted by the hostage-r. hhmm.....subconscious anyone??? I don't know if it's because Téa was up at 4:20 (been a while since she has done that) or a side effect of Whole 30? Either way. It was notable.
Throughout this experience, something that I keep coming back to is just how much the Bible mentions food...seriously, it's mentioned everywhere - Old Testament, New Testament... eat and be merry (Ecclesiastes), miracles of food (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John), etc. So, maybe food was an issue back then as it is today? I particularly noticed Luke 10: 7, 8... It's Jesus' instructions as he sends out the 72, two by two... "and remain in the same house, eating and drinking what they provide....eat what is set before you." It seems to me that Jesus places the importance of relationships over what the actual food is. It's not about what was served...just that fact that it was served and they were told to eat it. Just makes me wonder if we spend too much time worrying about food (which the bible says also not to do! in a slightly different manner...referring to not worrying about what you will eat) - between the Atkins, Whole 30, Paleo, Feast and Famine, Forks over Knives, vegetarians, organic, GMO, local, alkaline, etc, there is no shortage of food belief systems. And most of the time it serves to separate us from one another - i.e. one is better than the other... 'good' foods vs 'evil foods', etc.. in essence, it places food above relationships. And sometimes it causes relationships to be based on foods/food belief systems. I'm all about advocating for being healthy, but I just think there has to be more to this life.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Day 11 & 12: Comparison
Sorry I didn't post yesterday...we had company in town and we wanted to enjoy our time with them. And I'm beat.... somewhat on the verge of getting sick and I'm hoping some extra sleep (and garlic!) will help keep whatever this is at bay.
Day 11 Notes: I was excited when I realized that I'm a third of the way through Whole 30! For dinner on Day 11 we were treated to a yummy homemade Korean meal with some good friends and then we hopped on over to another friend's 3 year old's birthday party. You know what's a common theme through so many of the fun times we've shared with our friends? FOOD. Good. Yummy. Food. Of course the food wouldn't be fun without the folks, but you can't deny that food makes for a great excuse to gather and be merry. Of course there are some undeniable side effects of sugar: I went upstairs at some point in the evening to check on the kiddos after cupcakes and ice cream and they were like wild banchees!!! Seriously. I don't scare easily, but at one point I did wonder if I was safe as the only adult upstairs.....Here's the definition of a banchee: its a mythical creature that screams a high pitched scream that is suppose to paralyze or kill with its screams.
I'm feeling 'fine' as of Day 11 & 12... I keep waiting for this so called 'tiger blood' and awesome increase of energy to manifest itself, but so far, nothing of the sort. If anything, an odd thing is that it actually takes me LONGER than normal to fall asleep now. I think this is the opposite of what is supposed to happen? We'll see how things progress this week.
Day 12 Notes: Something I realized while we were eating dinner: my bowl of yumminess was awesome. and I was completely content. Until I saw my husband's same bowl of yumminess with rice. Then I was a wee bit jealous. And if you gave me any plate of Whole 30 food I would probably think it was just fine until I saw someone else's. See the theme? As quoted by Roosevelt: "Comparison is the thief of joy". When I mind my own business, I'm pretty content.... but get me a little distracted and all the sudden what I have doesn't seem so shiny anymore.
Today's discovery of yummy food...in random combination: twice baked sweet potato with cinnamon AND coconut milk (the rich, creamy part). The other random eat (my extra dose of garlic) was oven roasted garlic with olive oil and balsamic vinegar. My hubby had it with a grilled cheese and that looked REALLY good. There I go getting distracted again...
Final note of the day: I'm kind of sick of meat. Whole 30 requires that you eat a large amount of veggies and meat. A part of me just wonders, is this much meat even good for you? My friend sent me a link to a video called Forks over Knives, and from what I've briefly seen, it has contradictory guidelines to Whole 30, particularly the large amounts of meat. So, I'm not the only one who feels like Whole 30 might be too 'meat' heavy. We'll see.....
Day 11 Notes: I was excited when I realized that I'm a third of the way through Whole 30! For dinner on Day 11 we were treated to a yummy homemade Korean meal with some good friends and then we hopped on over to another friend's 3 year old's birthday party. You know what's a common theme through so many of the fun times we've shared with our friends? FOOD. Good. Yummy. Food. Of course the food wouldn't be fun without the folks, but you can't deny that food makes for a great excuse to gather and be merry. Of course there are some undeniable side effects of sugar: I went upstairs at some point in the evening to check on the kiddos after cupcakes and ice cream and they were like wild banchees!!! Seriously. I don't scare easily, but at one point I did wonder if I was safe as the only adult upstairs.....Here's the definition of a banchee: its a mythical creature that screams a high pitched scream that is suppose to paralyze or kill with its screams.
I'm feeling 'fine' as of Day 11 & 12... I keep waiting for this so called 'tiger blood' and awesome increase of energy to manifest itself, but so far, nothing of the sort. If anything, an odd thing is that it actually takes me LONGER than normal to fall asleep now. I think this is the opposite of what is supposed to happen? We'll see how things progress this week.
Day 12 Notes: Something I realized while we were eating dinner: my bowl of yumminess was awesome. and I was completely content. Until I saw my husband's same bowl of yumminess with rice. Then I was a wee bit jealous. And if you gave me any plate of Whole 30 food I would probably think it was just fine until I saw someone else's. See the theme? As quoted by Roosevelt: "Comparison is the thief of joy". When I mind my own business, I'm pretty content.... but get me a little distracted and all the sudden what I have doesn't seem so shiny anymore.
Today's discovery of yummy food...in random combination: twice baked sweet potato with cinnamon AND coconut milk (the rich, creamy part). The other random eat (my extra dose of garlic) was oven roasted garlic with olive oil and balsamic vinegar. My hubby had it with a grilled cheese and that looked REALLY good. There I go getting distracted again...
Final note of the day: I'm kind of sick of meat. Whole 30 requires that you eat a large amount of veggies and meat. A part of me just wonders, is this much meat even good for you? My friend sent me a link to a video called Forks over Knives, and from what I've briefly seen, it has contradictory guidelines to Whole 30, particularly the large amounts of meat. So, I'm not the only one who feels like Whole 30 might be too 'meat' heavy. We'll see.....
Friday, February 22, 2013
Day 10 - perseverance
It's late so I'll make some quick notes. My friend pointed out to me today's devotional entry from Oswald chamber's My Utmost for His Highest. It was about not just enduring but persevering and the difference between the two. Amongst a few other things I related it to whole 30.... How just recently I've gotten into this mentality that I am going to survive the next 20 days versus how I can thrive in the next 20 days. See, I started this with certain goals in mind and I kind of lost sight of them..... Lost my mojo, so to speak. Here's to an attitude change- discovering some new foods and trying to enjoy the rest of whole 30 as much as I can. I'm going to see this through trusting that I have much to learn from Him through even whole 30. It's not just going to annoy me for the next 20 days. I will embrace it!
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Day 9 - Annoyance
One of the reasons I wanted to do Whole 30 was because so many had mentioned that it helped improve their moods. Since I am guilty of often being 'annoyed' by surrounding circumstances (everything from countless requests made of me throughout the day to hours of listening to a jackhammer), I figured everyone who comes into direct contact with me could benefit from a less 'annoyed' Jen.
Today was a good test for this. I'm past what should be the initial withdrawal phase, the kids were rambunctious, my baby was grouchy, the jack hammer just kept going and going and going, I was tired, my husband and I had a miscommunication...the conditions were set for an 'annoyed Jen'. So, did being on Whole 30 improve my mood? Quite honestly, no. It just didn't work for me. Of course I definitely believe that eating well, exercising, and getting good rest are influential in my general attitude, but my decision on whether or not to be annoyed is a heart matter. Not a matter of how clean or unclean my diet has been.
Usually there is much more to me just being 'annoyed', though.... I use that as a general label when a more accurate description is usually that I'm just worn out, tired, my feelings were hurt, I'm insecure, etc. More often than not, I use 'annoyed' as a quick response.
And on a slightly different note, I realized today that I am privileged to even try Whole 30. I have enough access to food that I can actually 'turn down' food. Some others in this world would think this is absolutely ludicrous. Some will take every scrap they can get. And I have access to fresh produce! I remember how content I was with my shelf stable 'milk' we had in Iraq.....I think I remember the expiration date being somewhere in the 'months' range.
As I 'take' in so much fresh produce and 'clean' food, I'm trying to remember to be generous in other ways. "To he who has been given much, much is expected". Mark 14: 3-9 captured my attention in the area of generosity.... more to follow tomorrow....
Today was a good test for this. I'm past what should be the initial withdrawal phase, the kids were rambunctious, my baby was grouchy, the jack hammer just kept going and going and going, I was tired, my husband and I had a miscommunication...the conditions were set for an 'annoyed Jen'. So, did being on Whole 30 improve my mood? Quite honestly, no. It just didn't work for me. Of course I definitely believe that eating well, exercising, and getting good rest are influential in my general attitude, but my decision on whether or not to be annoyed is a heart matter. Not a matter of how clean or unclean my diet has been.
Usually there is much more to me just being 'annoyed', though.... I use that as a general label when a more accurate description is usually that I'm just worn out, tired, my feelings were hurt, I'm insecure, etc. More often than not, I use 'annoyed' as a quick response.
And on a slightly different note, I realized today that I am privileged to even try Whole 30. I have enough access to food that I can actually 'turn down' food. Some others in this world would think this is absolutely ludicrous. Some will take every scrap they can get. And I have access to fresh produce! I remember how content I was with my shelf stable 'milk' we had in Iraq.....I think I remember the expiration date being somewhere in the 'months' range.
As I 'take' in so much fresh produce and 'clean' food, I'm trying to remember to be generous in other ways. "To he who has been given much, much is expected". Mark 14: 3-9 captured my attention in the area of generosity.... more to follow tomorrow....
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Day 8 - Delayed Gratification
When just about everything you eat is made from scratch, it takes TIME. I can slap together a pb & j in minutes....but a grilled chicken salad sure takes longer. And you have to be more deliberate about how/when you prepare your food. As much as I am not happy about the delayed gratification and need to be so deliberate, they are actually two characteristics that I could use more practice in. Also, they are two characteristics of Jesus revealed in scripture.
I recently read a passage from Mark when a man named Jairus comes to ask Jesus to heal his sick daughter. As Jesus is on his way to Jairus's daughter, surrounded by a crowd, we encounter the story of the woman who had been bleeding for years and knows that if only she touches just the hem of his robe, she could be healed. Now, just this story of the woman being healed is pretty cool, but I always wonder what Jairus was doing in the background. If it were me I would be thinking something along the lines of 'c'mon Jesus..my daughter is SICK..she's DYING...you can come back to this lady....' and then when Jesus stops to talk to her I would probably barely be holding it together saying 'C'MON, LET'S GO!!! My little girl is dying...PLLLEEAASE.' And then Jesus and Jairus finally arrive at his home only to find that his little girl died...or so they thought. At this point, I would have probably lost it...and would have blurt out something like, 'See!!! You took too long! It's too late!'. But the thing is, Jesus knew exactly what He was doing.
Sometimes, I think Jesus wants us to learn to wait. and be deliberate. I often fly through my days from one thing to another and find having to wait and be deliberate annoying. There's something in every situation for us to learn from...if we would only slow down and give it a chance. I love when my day runs efficiently and smoothly, but those aren't necessarily the days I learn the most.
As for more Whole30 specific things: today's confession is that I am tired of eating either like a rabbit or a carnivore. Sooo many veggies and meat in almost every meal. It's just not for me. So, on Day 8 I needed a break. I think I survived today on eggs, nuts, fruit and sweet potatoes. I'm not kidding. Oh, and coffee. Tomorrow I will be motivated to cook up some new things. Today was a good 'break'.
I recently read a passage from Mark when a man named Jairus comes to ask Jesus to heal his sick daughter. As Jesus is on his way to Jairus's daughter, surrounded by a crowd, we encounter the story of the woman who had been bleeding for years and knows that if only she touches just the hem of his robe, she could be healed. Now, just this story of the woman being healed is pretty cool, but I always wonder what Jairus was doing in the background. If it were me I would be thinking something along the lines of 'c'mon Jesus..my daughter is SICK..she's DYING...you can come back to this lady....' and then when Jesus stops to talk to her I would probably barely be holding it together saying 'C'MON, LET'S GO!!! My little girl is dying...PLLLEEAASE.' And then Jesus and Jairus finally arrive at his home only to find that his little girl died...or so they thought. At this point, I would have probably lost it...and would have blurt out something like, 'See!!! You took too long! It's too late!'. But the thing is, Jesus knew exactly what He was doing.
Sometimes, I think Jesus wants us to learn to wait. and be deliberate. I often fly through my days from one thing to another and find having to wait and be deliberate annoying. There's something in every situation for us to learn from...if we would only slow down and give it a chance. I love when my day runs efficiently and smoothly, but those aren't necessarily the days I learn the most.
As for more Whole30 specific things: today's confession is that I am tired of eating either like a rabbit or a carnivore. Sooo many veggies and meat in almost every meal. It's just not for me. So, on Day 8 I needed a break. I think I survived today on eggs, nuts, fruit and sweet potatoes. I'm not kidding. Oh, and coffee. Tomorrow I will be motivated to cook up some new things. Today was a good 'break'.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Day 7 - Reverse Economics
Correction: I mentioned in the entry for Day 6 something called Reverse Economics from Bob Goff's book, Love Does - it's not a chapter title...but the concept is mentioned in it. The chapter is actually called Corner Store Economics.
This is how I think it ties in with the verse from Matthew 15:10-19 " ...it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth.."
See, Whole 30 is all about eating 'clean' and keeping yucky stuff out of our bodies. Yet, Jesus turns this upside down and says that it's not about what goes in, but more about what comes out of our mouth - v. 18-20 " but what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery...these are what defile a person. But to eat with unwashed hands does not defile anyone."
Don't get me wrong. I'm all about being good stewards of our bodies (after two very rough births with multiple blood transfusions, I fully appreciate my health!). But Jesus is getting to the heart of the matter (no pun intended). Of course taking care of our bodies is good and all, but what about the heart matter? That's the important stuff. Do my words and thoughts reflect a 'clean' heart? Are my words and thoughts passive aggressive, spiteful, sarcastic, laced in jealousy, etc. Or are they used to build others up and honor Him?
How clean I am is not to be determined by what goes in my mouth, rather, it's reflected in what comes out of out my mouth. It's not what goes in, but what comes out.
Something I forgot to mention earlier regarding my Whole 30 experience thus far is that I took a break from working out. My back, hips, knees, basically everything was aching and hurting so I took a break for about a week and a half. Tomorrow I start back up to train for the Half Marathon. We'll see how I feel as I add WODs and running back into my routine.
This is how I think it ties in with the verse from Matthew 15:10-19 " ...it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth.."
See, Whole 30 is all about eating 'clean' and keeping yucky stuff out of our bodies. Yet, Jesus turns this upside down and says that it's not about what goes in, but more about what comes out of our mouth - v. 18-20 " but what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery...these are what defile a person. But to eat with unwashed hands does not defile anyone."
Don't get me wrong. I'm all about being good stewards of our bodies (after two very rough births with multiple blood transfusions, I fully appreciate my health!). But Jesus is getting to the heart of the matter (no pun intended). Of course taking care of our bodies is good and all, but what about the heart matter? That's the important stuff. Do my words and thoughts reflect a 'clean' heart? Are my words and thoughts passive aggressive, spiteful, sarcastic, laced in jealousy, etc. Or are they used to build others up and honor Him?
How clean I am is not to be determined by what goes in my mouth, rather, it's reflected in what comes out of out my mouth. It's not what goes in, but what comes out.
Something I forgot to mention earlier regarding my Whole 30 experience thus far is that I took a break from working out. My back, hips, knees, basically everything was aching and hurting so I took a break for about a week and a half. Tomorrow I start back up to train for the Half Marathon. We'll see how I feel as I add WODs and running back into my routine.
Day 6 - adjusted
Finally! I do feel like my body has finally adjusted.... There are certainly noticeable effects: my gut never seems heavy/ full, my clothes are looser, and I don't feel constantly hungry anymore. I also have a pretty good menu of meals and snacks that I can make without an inordinate amount of effort.
Last night's dinner was Aussie burgers- yum!! It will be a repeat meal. Cream of broccoli soup will also be in our meal rotation - perfect for the winter. And I finally have sweet potato fries down! The key: make sure they are spread apart on the cookie sheet... Then you get crispy yummy fries. It took a lot of sweet potatoes to get this recipe 'just right'.
Another observation: I wash my hands way more often! No longer just licking the little bit of frosting or jelly off my fingers...or even most condiments! I suppose this would be easier if I only cooked for myself. My most interesting side effect so far: my breast milk seems way creamier/ fattier. I'll take that!
I just read a passage in Matthew where Jesus talks about how it's not what goes into our body that makes us 'unclean' but rather it's the words that come out of our mouths which reflect the state of our heart. And it ties in so well with a chapter title called 'reverse economics' from Bob Goff's book, Love Does. More to follow on that....
Last night's dinner was Aussie burgers- yum!! It will be a repeat meal. Cream of broccoli soup will also be in our meal rotation - perfect for the winter. And I finally have sweet potato fries down! The key: make sure they are spread apart on the cookie sheet... Then you get crispy yummy fries. It took a lot of sweet potatoes to get this recipe 'just right'.
Another observation: I wash my hands way more often! No longer just licking the little bit of frosting or jelly off my fingers...or even most condiments! I suppose this would be easier if I only cooked for myself. My most interesting side effect so far: my breast milk seems way creamier/ fattier. I'll take that!
I just read a passage in Matthew where Jesus talks about how it's not what goes into our body that makes us 'unclean' but rather it's the words that come out of our mouths which reflect the state of our heart. And it ties in so well with a chapter title called 'reverse economics' from Bob Goff's book, Love Does. More to follow on that....
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Day 5 - oopsy daisy!
ok- I had a minor slip up today. On the way out the door I needed just a small quick snack so I grabbed a handful of banana chips and didn't think twice about eating them. I had some a few months ago from Trader Joe's and the only ingredient in them was bananas (as it should be, right?) so I never even thought of checking these that were a different brand....but sure enough, I happened to check the bag when I got home and the two main ingredients: bananas and sugar. Ugh. So bummed that I slipped up.
On a separate note, the meeting I went to was for a Young Life Fundraiser. As I was driving home I realized what a good mood I was in... could it be Whole 30? Well, probably not since I had just had sugar! (I'm letting it go...). I was in a good mood because I had just left a meeting with folks who had a heart and passion for a bigger mission. Something bigger than us - a mission of sharing the Gospel with a world of lost kids. See, I was genuinely happy because I had been focusing on something other than ME.
Of course as soon as I got home, I had to start cooking and preparing a few things to be ready for dinner and this week. While I was preparing, my husband was showing our kids the new gymnastics apparatus he had built for them this weekend. They were in the garage trying it out and playing on the parallel bars, rope, overhead bars and swing, having a good time. And there I was...missing out because I was busy making my own ketchup. There's no question that the ketchup I made from scratch is much healthier for your body (and golly, it ACTUALLY tastes good, too!), but I was focusing on me and missing out on enjoying the blessing of OTHERS. This is what I truly dislike about Whole 30. There is no debate about it being healthier for me (my clothes are already looser and my 'gut' does indeed feel lighter), but maybe it's not all about me. Actually, I KNOW it's not all about me. Because when something is all about me, I am not all that happy. To pursue a purpose/mission bigger than me and love the ones He has blessed me with makes me happy. and it honors Him. Loving God, otherness, enjoying His blessings - that's the real food we need.
On a separate note, the meeting I went to was for a Young Life Fundraiser. As I was driving home I realized what a good mood I was in... could it be Whole 30? Well, probably not since I had just had sugar! (I'm letting it go...). I was in a good mood because I had just left a meeting with folks who had a heart and passion for a bigger mission. Something bigger than us - a mission of sharing the Gospel with a world of lost kids. See, I was genuinely happy because I had been focusing on something other than ME.
Of course as soon as I got home, I had to start cooking and preparing a few things to be ready for dinner and this week. While I was preparing, my husband was showing our kids the new gymnastics apparatus he had built for them this weekend. They were in the garage trying it out and playing on the parallel bars, rope, overhead bars and swing, having a good time. And there I was...missing out because I was busy making my own ketchup. There's no question that the ketchup I made from scratch is much healthier for your body (and golly, it ACTUALLY tastes good, too!), but I was focusing on me and missing out on enjoying the blessing of OTHERS. This is what I truly dislike about Whole 30. There is no debate about it being healthier for me (my clothes are already looser and my 'gut' does indeed feel lighter), but maybe it's not all about me. Actually, I KNOW it's not all about me. Because when something is all about me, I am not all that happy. To pursue a purpose/mission bigger than me and love the ones He has blessed me with makes me happy. and it honors Him. Loving God, otherness, enjoying His blessings - that's the real food we need.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Day 4 - transformation or self denial?
One thing is for sure. Adjusting to cooking Whole 30 compliant creates WAY more dishes! My dishwasher is working overtime.
The other thing I wanted to note is that Whole 30 is not just about the actual food ingredients themselves. There's a part on Whole 30's website that discourages even using Whole 30 compliant ingredients to make pseudo treats. So that makes me think that it's not just the food in and of itself that Whole 30 aims to limit, but our desire for the 'unclean' foods. For example, coconut milk, bananas and unsweetened cocoa powder are allowed. But using those ingredients to make a dessert is not allowed. So, it's not the ingredients, it's the idea of having a treat/dessert.
I just have to say that right now, as a Whole 30 newbie, that just seems down right silly to me! Is it or is it not about the ingredients? What is wrong with using better ingredients to adjust our palate for healthier treats?
Is it about transformation or self denial? In other words, is it about changing the way we taste 'real' food and appreciate clean eating or just killing the desire to want a treat?
Maybe I'm just so tired of eating so much meat and eggs that I'm being a little grouchy about this topic... we'll see how I feel about this in another few days.
The other thing I wanted to note is that Whole 30 is not just about the actual food ingredients themselves. There's a part on Whole 30's website that discourages even using Whole 30 compliant ingredients to make pseudo treats. So that makes me think that it's not just the food in and of itself that Whole 30 aims to limit, but our desire for the 'unclean' foods. For example, coconut milk, bananas and unsweetened cocoa powder are allowed. But using those ingredients to make a dessert is not allowed. So, it's not the ingredients, it's the idea of having a treat/dessert.
I just have to say that right now, as a Whole 30 newbie, that just seems down right silly to me! Is it or is it not about the ingredients? What is wrong with using better ingredients to adjust our palate for healthier treats?
Is it about transformation or self denial? In other words, is it about changing the way we taste 'real' food and appreciate clean eating or just killing the desire to want a treat?
Maybe I'm just so tired of eating so much meat and eggs that I'm being a little grouchy about this topic... we'll see how I feel about this in another few days.
Friday, February 15, 2013
Day 3 - yes, I am
addicted.to.sugar.
Before the start of whole30 I was sure that I did not have an addiction to sugar. I eat fairly healthy, know about moderation and can turn down sugary sweets ... I even ask for half the syrup at Starbucks. See?
But today I found myself in a pitiful situation. I was making some frosting that included powdered sugar, but my hand mixer is broken so I was using my big stand mixer. As I turned it on, all the powdered sugar 'poofed' into the air, creating a big cloud that left a thin layer of sugar on every surface. The cloud of sugar was so big that when my son walked into the kitchen, he even asked why there was steam. :) As the big 'poof' of sugar was suspended in the air, I was literally sticking my tongue out hoping to get some sugar and even telling myself just to 'inhale'. Yes. I. am. addicted. to. sugar. I would have vehemently denied it before today, but now I know. and I admit it.
I never denied myself all sugar before, so I was actually feeding my little addiction without even knowing it through small doses of 'moderation'.
But the thing is, we are all addicted to something. This is what the Israelites in the Old Testament were constantly warned about and reprimanded for. Allowing something other than God be their addiction - aka idolatry. Addiction to anything other than God is bad. Shoot, even an addiction to a good thing, like clean eating, is a bad thing because we make it first and foremost instead of being addicted to the First and Foremost.
Here's to discovering and breaking more hidden addictions.
Before the start of whole30 I was sure that I did not have an addiction to sugar. I eat fairly healthy, know about moderation and can turn down sugary sweets ... I even ask for half the syrup at Starbucks. See?
But today I found myself in a pitiful situation. I was making some frosting that included powdered sugar, but my hand mixer is broken so I was using my big stand mixer. As I turned it on, all the powdered sugar 'poofed' into the air, creating a big cloud that left a thin layer of sugar on every surface. The cloud of sugar was so big that when my son walked into the kitchen, he even asked why there was steam. :) As the big 'poof' of sugar was suspended in the air, I was literally sticking my tongue out hoping to get some sugar and even telling myself just to 'inhale'. Yes. I. am. addicted. to. sugar. I would have vehemently denied it before today, but now I know. and I admit it.
I never denied myself all sugar before, so I was actually feeding my little addiction without even knowing it through small doses of 'moderation'.
But the thing is, we are all addicted to something. This is what the Israelites in the Old Testament were constantly warned about and reprimanded for. Allowing something other than God be their addiction - aka idolatry. Addiction to anything other than God is bad. Shoot, even an addiction to a good thing, like clean eating, is a bad thing because we make it first and foremost instead of being addicted to the First and Foremost.
Here's to discovering and breaking more hidden addictions.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Day 2 - giving up and taking up
Day 2 happens to be Valentine's Day and it was one of the best yet. I'm amazed that even after 10 years and 4 kids, my husband still loves me so well. I know that he loves me, but he loves me well. Really well. He shows me his love in a way that only someone who has known me intimately for almost 15 years can do.
I was kind of grumpy today about that foods that I had to abstain from.... but it did make me realize how 'freely' I eat on a normal basis. A small scoop of mac n cheese here, nibble on one cookie for a 'taste test' there, licking fingers, etc.... immediate gratification through my taste buds.
One thing I haven't mentioned yet that is the key in this whole experiment in conjunction with Lent, is that giving up/abstaining from certain foods isn't really worth much in the end if it doesn't bring me closer to Christ. Giving up something for the sake of giving it up is purposeless if I don't use it to gain in my relationship with Christ. I don't want something I give up to cause me to just think about myself more...Here's a great quote I read today.
Read more at http://www.christianpost.com/news/christians-reminded-that-lent-is-about-giving-up-to-gain-and-grow-90060/#vGp1bHMQYDUMgGr8.99
"If the goal is merely the giving up of something without taking up of something more significant, the focus is just merely on the stuff which we give up or really, the focus is on the practice of giving up something rather than giving into Jesus — or in other words, our solidarity with Jesus. In truth, it becomes about us...," writes Cho.
Read more at http://www.christianpost.com/news/christians-reminded-that-lent-is-about-giving-up-to-gain-and-grow-90060/#vGp1bHMQYDUMgGr8.99
I was kind of grumpy today about that foods that I had to abstain from.... but it did make me realize how 'freely' I eat on a normal basis. A small scoop of mac n cheese here, nibble on one cookie for a 'taste test' there, licking fingers, etc.... immediate gratification through my taste buds.
One thing I haven't mentioned yet that is the key in this whole experiment in conjunction with Lent, is that giving up/abstaining from certain foods isn't really worth much in the end if it doesn't bring me closer to Christ. Giving up something for the sake of giving it up is purposeless if I don't use it to gain in my relationship with Christ. I don't want something I give up to cause me to just think about myself more...Here's a great quote I read today.
Evangelical Christian author Eric Metaxas shared in a reflection how some view the idea of giving things up for Lent as "oppressive" when the occassion is actually a period of rejoicing for others.
"All this talk of self-examination and re-commitment sounds 'oppressive' and 'gloomy' to contemporary minds, including those belonging to Christians. For most moderns 'the central goal of life is to be happy and to feel good about oneself,'" writes Metaxas.
He adds, "During Lent, Christians, as a friend of mine once put it, 'rehearse — in the most basic meaning of that word — the story of our salvation, starting with the Fall and culminating in Good Friday.' And in this rehearsal, 'a consistent picture of God emerges: the God who takes the initiative in reconciling us to Himself.'
Read more at http://www.christianpost.com/news/christians-reminded-that-lent-is-about-giving-up-to-gain-and-grow-90060/#vGp1bHMQYDUMgGr8.99
"If the goal is merely the giving up of something without taking up of something more significant, the focus is just merely on the stuff which we give up or really, the focus is on the practice of giving up something rather than giving into Jesus — or in other words, our solidarity with Jesus. In truth, it becomes about us...," writes Cho.
"Anything that produces rituals, expressions, practices, and the like — without ultimately inviting us to a deeper understanding and worship of the Living God…lends itself to empty religion. And what we need isn't more religion. We need Gospel," he adds, meaning "a Gospel that cuts into the heart of humanity with a grace that compels us to not just merely to salvation but a life committed to justice, reconciliation, and redemption."
Read more at http://www.christianpost.com/news/christians-reminded-that-lent-is-about-giving-up-to-gain-and-grow-90060/#vGp1bHMQYDUMgGr8.99
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Day 1
Day 1 was not too bad.... it actually kick started my recipe brainstorming. New recipes have been running through my head all day! I'm looking forward to trying these out this month.
One thing I noticed is that there is definitely a circadian rhythm to my appetite. Savory all day, but my sweet tooth really kicks in in the evening after dinner. I also really like texture....I miss the creaminess of my ice cream. :(
Today's menu included 1) broccoli salad with apples, bacon and balsamic vinaigrette and 2) chicken curry
This morning's workout was a WOD.
The biggest thing I dislike about doing a 'diet' is the affect on social settings. If someone cooks food for me, I feel terrible/rude about turning it down. But I really do want to see how this experiment goes. So, my solution? I am going to use 'to go' plates and can save a lot in the freezer and wait to enjoy them in 29 days!
One thing I noticed is that there is definitely a circadian rhythm to my appetite. Savory all day, but my sweet tooth really kicks in in the evening after dinner. I also really like texture....I miss the creaminess of my ice cream. :(
Today's menu included 1) broccoli salad with apples, bacon and balsamic vinaigrette and 2) chicken curry
This morning's workout was a WOD.
The biggest thing I dislike about doing a 'diet' is the affect on social settings. If someone cooks food for me, I feel terrible/rude about turning it down. But I really do want to see how this experiment goes. So, my solution? I am going to use 'to go' plates and can save a lot in the freezer and wait to enjoy them in 29 days!
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Tomorrow begins Whole 30. I've noticed a phenomenon today - similar to when I'm pregnant and notice every other other preggo. Knowing that tomorrow is the start of Whole 30 I noticed every single bit of food that I will not be enjoying for the next 30 days....everything stood out to me. I've come to one conclusion: I will not ever do any sort of 'diet' again after this. Fasting may be one thing, but dieting is another. I am still glad I'm doing this, but will be happy when it is over.
I also read a passage from Deuteronomy 14:22 this morning. It's about celebrating with our tithes and how using versus hoarding our tithes creates fear of the Lord - i.e. trust. If we use what we have instead of hoarding, it does force us to trust and rely on God to make the rest/ '90 percent' be enough. It reinforced two things for me: 1) We are called to CELEBRATE. There are seasons for sorrow and sadness, so when we have seasons to celebrate, I will gladly embrace it! It's why I really like birthday parties. :) 2) Living radically is so counterintuitive to how we've been taught to live 'responsibly'. God was commanding the Israelites to use their tithes so that they would HAVE to rely on God for the rest. If we always have a comfortable savings, we'll never learn to rely/trust in God in that way. Not saying it's easy. at. all. But what a great motivation to be generous, too!
So, I will give this Whole 30 my best and trust that even this will deepen my relationship with Christ. And when this is over I will CELEBRATE with some ice cream! :) How convenient that day 31 happens to be Reagan's 5th birthday!
I also read a passage from Deuteronomy 14:22 this morning. It's about celebrating with our tithes and how using versus hoarding our tithes creates fear of the Lord - i.e. trust. If we use what we have instead of hoarding, it does force us to trust and rely on God to make the rest/ '90 percent' be enough. It reinforced two things for me: 1) We are called to CELEBRATE. There are seasons for sorrow and sadness, so when we have seasons to celebrate, I will gladly embrace it! It's why I really like birthday parties. :) 2) Living radically is so counterintuitive to how we've been taught to live 'responsibly'. God was commanding the Israelites to use their tithes so that they would HAVE to rely on God for the rest. If we always have a comfortable savings, we'll never learn to rely/trust in God in that way. Not saying it's easy. at. all. But what a great motivation to be generous, too!
So, I will give this Whole 30 my best and trust that even this will deepen my relationship with Christ. And when this is over I will CELEBRATE with some ice cream! :) How convenient that day 31 happens to be Reagan's 5th birthday!
Monday, February 11, 2013
Whole 30 - for real
I'm doing it - all in - for 30 WHOLE days...I keep telling myself that I can do anything for 30 days, but that is a lot of days to not eat ice cream, my favorite food group!
First of all - I want to keep this passage first and foremost regarding all the hype about food and my Whole 30 experiment. Romans 14 (v.3) "let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgement on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him." (v.6) " the one who eats, eats in honor of the Lord, since he gives thanks to God, while the one who abstains, abstains in honor of the Lord and gives thanks to God." (v.13 - ) "Therefore let us not pass judgement on one another any longer." (v.17) "For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit." (v.20) "Do not for the sake of food, destroy the work of God."
That said, here are the reasons why I'm doing Whole30.
1) I am curious! I want to see for myself if this is legit or not.
2) I enjoy cooking and my favorite subject is science....they kind of go hand in hand so this will be a good challenge for me to try some new recipes and learn more about food.
3) After I gave birth to Téa and got really sick, I gained a renewed appreciation for my health. Right now my kids are 4 (five in March), 3, 2 and 6 1/2 months old. I need/would like as much energy as possible to stay ahead of my crew!
4) I am SKEPTICAL. Yes, I know - many are shaking your heads/rolling your eyes, saying tsk, tsk and 'you'll see', but I feel like we eat healthy enough right now that for us, the increase in effort to eat according to Whole 30, may not be worth the pay off. In some ways I hope I'm wrong! And that's what we're going to find out.
5) MOODS - I'm a girl, I'm a wife and I'm a mom.... it's safe to say that somewhere in there a moody person can be found at times. One of the biggest reviews I've heard about Whole30 is that it helped folks stabilize their moods. It certainly won't hurt my husband, kids and friends to have less 'moods' to endure.
I don't expect everyone to read my daily updates - I'm quite terrified of other people knowing what I do on a daily basis ... I'm very private in many ways (some of you wouldn't know that because I keep even THAT private :)). But my updates will include my meals/workouts/and honest observations for those that want to know...check back on Wednesday if you want to see how my first day goes!
First of all - I want to keep this passage first and foremost regarding all the hype about food and my Whole 30 experiment. Romans 14 (v.3) "let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgement on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him." (v.6) " the one who eats, eats in honor of the Lord, since he gives thanks to God, while the one who abstains, abstains in honor of the Lord and gives thanks to God." (v.13 - ) "Therefore let us not pass judgement on one another any longer." (v.17) "For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit." (v.20) "Do not for the sake of food, destroy the work of God."
That said, here are the reasons why I'm doing Whole30.
1) I am curious! I want to see for myself if this is legit or not.
2) I enjoy cooking and my favorite subject is science....they kind of go hand in hand so this will be a good challenge for me to try some new recipes and learn more about food.
3) After I gave birth to Téa and got really sick, I gained a renewed appreciation for my health. Right now my kids are 4 (five in March), 3, 2 and 6 1/2 months old. I need/would like as much energy as possible to stay ahead of my crew!
4) I am SKEPTICAL. Yes, I know - many are shaking your heads/rolling your eyes, saying tsk, tsk and 'you'll see', but I feel like we eat healthy enough right now that for us, the increase in effort to eat according to Whole 30, may not be worth the pay off. In some ways I hope I'm wrong! And that's what we're going to find out.
5) MOODS - I'm a girl, I'm a wife and I'm a mom.... it's safe to say that somewhere in there a moody person can be found at times. One of the biggest reviews I've heard about Whole30 is that it helped folks stabilize their moods. It certainly won't hurt my husband, kids and friends to have less 'moods' to endure.
I don't expect everyone to read my daily updates - I'm quite terrified of other people knowing what I do on a daily basis ... I'm very private in many ways (some of you wouldn't know that because I keep even THAT private :)). But my updates will include my meals/workouts/and honest observations for those that want to know...check back on Wednesday if you want to see how my first day goes!
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