Faithful...redefined

During the past few years, God has redefined my understanding of faithful.

I used to understand faithful in the version of "God is faithful.... He always provides."  The same way that we don't have to worry about where our next home will be - "He always provides!".  And it's true - in 10 years and 9 different houses, we've never been homeless.  But my understanding of faithful was rocked to the core a few years ago.

I have a sweet, soul friend, Sarah.  When she was pregnant with her second baby, about 4 months into her pregnancy, doctors found out there was something wrong.  The following weeks involved a series of tests and procedures to first determine what exactly was wrong and then to correct it in utero.  We prayed...prayed hard for baby Mia to be healed.  And I believed in my heart of hearts that everything would be fine.  After all, God is faithful.  He always provides.

But on November 20th, Sarah and David were forced to say hello and goodbye to baby Mia.  To say I cannot even begin to understand their heartbreak is an understatement.  In a selfish way, I have to admit that I was grieving for myself, too.  I was disappointed by God - I felt like He had let me down.  From my finite point of view, there was absolutely no reason why God would not or could not have saved baby Mia.  He is God.  He is faithful.  He could heal baby Mia.  He always provides.  But why not this time?

In the weeks and months that followed Sarah didn't hide her pain or pretend like all was okay.  She was gracefully transparent about her grief, yet she never uttered one word of resentment towards God.  I don't know if she and David wrestled privately with God for answers, but never did they utter a single word of blame towards God.

Sarah and David walked through the refiner's fire and came out with an amazing testimony.  And this is when God redefined my definition of faithful.  Somehow, somewhere, in the midst of their grief, God provided Sarah and David with a lasting faith in Him.  He provided them with a faith that despite heartbreaking loss, grew even stronger.  This is what faithful is:  when everything in the world is stripped away and you have nothing left but God, He proves to be enough.  He provides.  Himself.

I imagine that Sarah and David might be celebrities in heaven.  :)