Waging War

We're bbaaacccccck.  :)  At least for a brief update.

It has been a week full of support from family and friends near and far.  From friends who flew in from far away, friends that sat with Rich during surgery and sat with me post surgery, drove our kids to school, watched the younger kids, made meals for us, mailed gifts, sent flowers and everyone who has prayed, prayed and prayed for us.

With my limited range of motion and ability to concentrate for brief periods of time, this update will have to be brief, but I'll try to include all I can remember.

First, the pre-op dye injection could not have gone better!  I KNOW that people were praying for us because in a situation where anyone would have the right to freak out I felt surrounded by peace.  The dye injection is a painful, cold, lonely and somewhat intimidating process, but I felt guarded by an army of angels throughout the process.  Rich was not allowed to wait on the floor with me, the room has to be one of the coldest in the hospital (to keep the machines from breaking down) and they use needles to inject the dye on each side.  Despite all this, the whole process went quickly and I felt so protected.  Thank you for praying over me specifically during this time.

As we were doing final preparations and meeting the other doctors and nurses, God sent a huge encouragement in the form of my anesthesiologist.  After she introduced herself to me I asked her about not using certain medications/procedures that have been questionable for treating cancer patients and fully expected to have to justify myself.  BUT, she completely agreed based on her research she had done because SHE IS ALSO A CANCER SURVIVOR.  What are the chances of having a cancer survivor included in my team of doctors????  She took good care of me.  God is good.

I have mentioned how powerful I think prayer is and my surgery is most definitely an example.  I don't have a better way to explain that there is certainly a bigger battle being waged here.  This is not just about a battle to beat cancer - though that is what we see  - but I am convinced that a bigger, unseen battle is being waged for His Glory through my Good.  The best way I can explain this is through a rundown of my surgery (reconstructed through facts from Rich and my surgeon).

The first part of surgery included the lymph node biopsy.  There is a tool used to detect which lymph node the radioactive substance spreads to first.  This lymph node is then dissected to determine whether or not the cancer has spread.  About and hour and a half into surgery, the surgeon stepped out to give Rich an update....Rich thought the update was of the biopsy result....but it was actually because somehow, during the procedure, the tool used to detect the radioactive substance BROKE.  And yep, there is only ONE in the entire hospital.  The options were to continue with a visual method or wake me up and start all over a different day.  Thank the Lord, the surgeons were able to continue with the back up visual method and were successful!  Family and friends were waging war on our behalf without even knowing it.

While the surgeons were completing the rest of the mastectomy my bleeding continued to increase and my blood pressure dropped.  My bleeding didn't stop and my blood pressure was in the 60's.  The next update my surgeon gave Rich was that surgery was put on hold until my blood pressure stabilized.  Finally, after four transfusions my blood pressure rose from the 60's and they were able to complete the reconstruction portion of surgery.  Again, family and friends were waging war on our behalf without even knowing the full extent of the battle.  At one point during surgery a friend said she felt a strong conviction to stop in the middle of running errands and pray for me with her kids.  It wasn't but a minute later that Rich had sent her a text about surgery being on pause until my blood pressure stabilized.  

I spent a couple nights in the ICU to recover from a 'rougher than normal' surgery before being moved to the normal post surgical floor and finally being released after three nights in the hospital.  It took a while to get an IV in, figure out the balance of finding the right meds to relieve pain and also keep my blood pressure up.  I truly believe we were given an 'A-team' of doctors, nurses and prayer warriors to surround us with His protection.  I know my life - aka my 'good' was being brought before His throne continually and especially during surgery for His Glory.  For that we are eternally grateful.

And we continue to seek your prayers for the following:
1) the initial lymph node biopsy came back NEGATIVE - praise the Lord!!!  But we get the official results this week.  There are sometime false negatives, but we are praying and waiting expectantly for final lab results to be negative!

2) My recovery is getting better and better each day.  I can walk further, move my arms more and continue to have more energy.  It is the emotional and mental battle that I also ask prayer for.  I have not yet had the courage to see my 'new' self in the mirror yet.  It is an adjustment that I'm sure will take time.  And once the drains aka 'grenades' are removed, I'm sure that will be a big step towards feeling more 'normal'.  I know I've never been in the running for a beauty pageant, but I will admit that this is a pretty significant vulnerability in my self image and I need to remind myself that I am still His creation - and that His creations are beautiful regardless of the type of scars we bear.

3) Protection for my family - Rich is working more than overtime and my kids are resilient so far.  Please pray for their physical protection from sickness and that my kids would be protected from fear of what they see me go through.  I pray that their innocence would be preserved.

4) Continued wisdom in deciding on future treatment.  We are looking into all our options and the big picture seems overwhelming...considering I can't even walk more than a few minutes yet.  :)  Pray that we would have clarity of thought and perspective as we make future decisions.

We so very grateful for all the love and support and prayers lavished on us by our family and friends.  Thank you so much, from the bottom of our hearts.

Here are some fun pics of the past couple days.