Round 2 - Go BIG

This will be a brief update as I try to do this from my phone in the waiting room.  It's an odd feeling to feel 'ok' yet be told that you have something wrong with you.

I have been feeling better and better over the past two weeks and it's really hard to know that we're taking a step back.  This time around seems bigger to me... Because I know more of what is involved and because I just started regaining movement and strength. The procedure itself should be much simpler and OR time less than half of last time.  And now we have an idea of what pain meds to start with.  Those are all good things.

I don't pretend to know why we are going through this setback or even try to have a 'happy face' about this. I am sad and I am weary.  But I was reminded of something.... That my view of all this is so small.  All I see and feel is the here and now but Christ promises a bigger Hope.  A bigger story where my scars will fade and even complement the tapestry that is being woven.

And the Angels.... Ones I know were standing guard over me last time and continue to do so..... For some reason I made them so small in my mind.  Not weak, but just sweet, small angels.  That's all wrong, though. . I believe they are Rereeaaallly BIG.  My friend told me so.  And Rich just ordered these cool comic books about the Bible with awesome graphics and yup- the angels are BIG.

Even if that's all I 'gain' from this surgery, that is huge. To be reminded that God's Army means business and they are terrifyingly huge and I can take a break from fighting because we are on the same side.

Our prayer requests include 1) wisdom for my surgeon, Luke, to know what to take for clean margins yet preserve as much of me as possible.  For my mental and emotional well being.  That God would guide Luke's  hands and give me peace to accept the outcome.  Between having a baby and these surgeries I feel especially vulnerable in my self image.  2) for no infections or complications... 3) pain management post surgery.  4) Luke will also insert a port for future treatment... Prayers for it to fit in just the right place and that it would not be painful. 5) for our friends Mel and Erica who are holding down the fort at home and for their families that are missing their mommas  6)that I could go home TODAY.  Being surrounded by friends and my family at home is the best medicine for this momma.

Thank you again for your prayers and continually lifting us up.  We are waiting until our scheduled OR time of 1:00 p.m.  Until then, I'll be reading through the comic books to remind me of the incredible warriors that have my back.