Thank you for your prayers.... everything went smoothly yesterday. God answered some prayers - some crazy cool big time prayers.
We waited through the pre op checklist and thought we would be sitting around for a few more hours until the scheduled surgery time of 1:00 p.m. But as soon as we finished with the 2nd to last item on the checklist, they told us the OR was ready for us. This was way sooner than anticipated and much, much better than waiting around for hours.
On the drive in I kept praying and hoping that I could get the same anesthesiologist..... there are at least five different anesthesiologists on staff so I knew it was not a guarantee.... but when they told us the OR was ready for us, they also said 'we're moving a little quicker since you're going to have the same anesthesiologist'. Thank you, Lord!
We held hands with our surgeon and anesthesiologist and Rich prayed for us before I was taken to the OR. The last detail I remember is trying to see if I could get the record for staying awake the longest before falling asleep. I don't think I lasted that long. :)
As of now, the initial lab results are 'clear', meaning no return trip to the OR! We are still praying for the official results to be clear....we should know within the week. And one of my biggest sources of being 'sad' was further scarring and deformity. I think it's amazing to say that Luke was able to maintain one scar line and did not have to remove any of the fluid that was filled to start reconstruction. God is Good - He even answers my 'vain' prayers.
Here is something I haven't shared too openly..... the past week has felt like a battle to know that none of this is in vain. That even this set back is somehow for His Glory and my good. I have been pleading with God for the reassurance that 'this present suffering' will result in His future Glory...and my good. It's felt like wave after wave of 'hard things' and just struggling to catch my breath. But all the hard things - the pain - it becomes almost welcome when you know that it all leads to His Glory....that somehow, we're being included in an amazing story that will one day be revealed. It's hard because some days I can only see as far as the next round of meds and the mountain in front of me seems impassable. And so it has been an inner plea to just have 'eyes' to see that all of this is not in vain.
And God in His mercy answered my plea when I least expected it. I've debated sharing this on a post because it seems so private, but it's not my own gift to keep hidden...I feel led to share it.
I saw an Angel. A huge angel.
I was behind the angel, looking at his back and could see myself on the table beyond him.
I didn't see his face. And we didn't exchange any words.
But two thoughts were communicated to me.
1) That if he were to unfurl his wings, they would stretch beyond the walls of the OR
2) At any moment, he could unfurl his wings and it would provide a shield over me
He was statue/granite gray in color. And he was a serious angel....standing guard. I mention the color specifically because I've always imagined angels to be white/goldish/glowing. I still think it's odd that this one was gray.
What timing that she happens to be here at the same time
that I saw the angel.
Some might dismiss this as a dream - but in the other three times that I have been under general anesthesia I have never had a dream. Some might say it's because I was just talking about angels and reading a comic book with graphics - but this angel looked nothing like the graphics because it was gray.
I don't know if I saw the angel while I was under or starting to come to, but it's one of the first things I remember mentioning to Rich and Luke when I woke up. The image was crystal clear.
What a gracious God. He owes me nothing. He is not obligated to answer my pleas. But in His love for us, He answered me when I least expected it. I have never seen visions before or had dreams about angels. And now, I have seen one, by His grace.
I will never forget this angel. God's very real gift to me....and hopefully you.
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