To say we have been loved upon is an understatement of the year. It's like saying I caught a minor cold. :) I am so humbled by the ways so many have shown us their love and encouragement....so many tangible ways to remind me that even though I have to physically take some of the steps on my own tomorrow, I am most certainly not alone. We are not alone. Our whole family has a band of warriors fighting alongside us and holding us up when we just simply can't do it on our own.
Several times over the past few days, I have heard the phrase 'keep you warm' from different people....on different continents regarding their prayers for me. I've heard it repeated so many times that I actually asked a friend what made her write that in her e-mail....I said I just happened to hear it several times and was wondering if I had missed something? :) She said 'I don't even have a good explanation of why I said to be warm'. Isn't God crazy good in how He speaks to us sometimes? It's this phrase that keeps getting repeated to me by different people and I know there is a reason for it.
As if that wasn't enough, I received this precious quilt in the mail on Friday morning. We were blown away. To say I love it is again, an understatement. I just have to show it off.
Several friends helped put this together, picking out fabric, sewing and sending a 'blessing ring' with it that includes verses and encouragement. It is absolutely precious to me. I will take it to the hospital with me and hope to see it's colors when I wake up. :)
On a different note, I just feel compelled to respond to folks who have commented that I seem strong or courageous. Because I don't feel either. The only reason why my surgeon won't see my bare bottom with my gown flapping behind me as I try to escape the OR is because of the Grace of God. I am terrified, but will manage to take one step after another tomorrow by the Grace of God. I am sad, but know that the tears only last for a little while, by the Grace of God. I am broken hearted, but have felt comfort because of the Grace of God. I dread the poking, prodding and pain, but know that I have a powerful God to lean into because He is gracious. Any good that I have is only by the Grace of God. I can never claim to have any strength of courage to get through this aside from the Grace of God. I am thankful to know Him and know that He loves me and that through Him I can do all things.
Another comment that I have heard from different friends is how even though I may feel like I am walking through a fire, I will not be burned. In fact, one friend, who has been through unimaginable fire herself, encouraged me with something she learned during her own trial. That not only will I not be burned, I won't even smell like smoke. :)
And here is the basic rundown for tomorrow:
We will arrive at the hospital around 7. I will have some blood work done (one to confirm that I am not pregnant...hello? Did we miss the part where I gave birth a month ago?????) and then go to nuclear medicine for the ever dreaded dye injection. Once that is complete I will go to the OR. My surgeon said to expect to be in the OR between 9 and 10. He said surgery may take around 5 hours. So hopefully, by the time my older two are done with school, I'll be done with surgery. :)
Please continue to pray for my surgeons and staff. Please pray, pray, pray for a negative biopsy.
Please continue to lift up my family - for Rich, the kids and my mom as she stays home with the kids. My husband was a champ and did an amazing job of finally telling the kids that I'm sick and will be going to the hospital and return with some bandages. :) I'm so thankful they are too young to worry about me ... the world is right as long as their dad sings jingle bells to them at bedtime. :)
We love you and are so grateful for the family and friends who have surrounded us and lifted us up before the throne of God.
Much Hartney love,
Rich, Jen, reagan, vera, ada, téa and raleigh
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