Anyway, nuances aside, I am overdue in an update! THANK YOU so much for all your prayers. The surgery went well and I came home the same day, as planned! Praise God for a 'boring' surgery. Given the events of the past few months 'boring' is kind of nice right now. My surgeon was able to remove the 'bumps' and confirm that they were indeed sutures! Praise God! And my bleeding was very normal this time around. It's funny how major life events came make 'boring' and 'normal' seem so attractive. :)
So all in all, we call this surgery a success!
And that one sentence seems so simple. Surgery went well and as planned - a success. But it doesn't do justice to the hours of appointments, scans, consults, phone calls, tears and prayers that led up to the confirmation of new bumps being nothing more than sutures and surgery going smoothly. In other words, it's so easy to say - 'yep, it all went well' and not give Glory to the one who soothed every fear, caught every tear, heard every prayer on our behalf. Thank you Lord, that the bumps are NOT cancer and that the surgery went well. But above that, Thank you Lord, for being the God who is Maker of the universe and at the same time, 'daddy'.
And how appropriate that our pastor gave a sermon about how we define success. So much of it was spot on and resonated with me, loud and clear. I would do a terrible job of repeating his message, but I'll do my best to illustrate it through our situation.
One of my very desperate prayers for the past few months has been that I would beat this cancer. That I would live to hold my grandchildren and perhaps even their children. I long to see my children grown and their cultivated souls. What a gift it would be! And yet, from the beginning, I've known deep down that that is not what will define ultimate success for us. Beating cancer sure would be totally awesome (or rad as a friend often says :)), but that is not the ultimate measure of success.
Let me put it this way. I don't want or intend to look back in 40 years and say 'geesh, 2014 was a rough ride for us....that crazy cancer thing'. I don't want it to be a mere episode of our lives from which we simply move on and forget. Neither do I intend to let it be our whole life. Instead, I want to use it. Use it for His Glory and our Good. This diagnosis - as crazy and scary as it is - has a bigger purpose. I can do everything in my ability to beat this thing and then lay it aside or I can choose to use it. Use it to point back to Him.
And so the question is how do I define success regarding this diagnosis? It's not just my physical healing at stake. There is kingdom work to be done. Regarding success, sometimes we think too small. i.e. just get married, just find a good job, just buy a house, just stinkin' beat cancer! But God whispers all that time that there is more. Much more than just our physical here and now. There are souls to be saved to celebrate and sing with in heaven.
Here's a quote from our pastor "some of the worst circumstances of our lives open the doors for access to the gospel work". I can attest to that. The past few months have been by far, the hardest trial of our lives. And yet, it has opened many many doors to relating with folks in deep, real, meaningful, God-filled, intentional, eternity-worthy relationships.
I don't know if the end of this journey will end in successfully beating cancer ( though I pray HARD for that!); but I do know what success will look like: If in the end, when all is said and done, we have fought the good fight and used our heart, soul and mind to point others to Him.
So, in the meantime, I am going to start sharing everything I've learned about health and wellness through local classes. Again, food does not, cannot, will not save you. Our only Savior is Jesus Christ. Can I get an Amen??? :) That said, the human body is intricately designed and I am passionate about sharing how we can be good stewards of our bodies - for His Glory and our good. The classes are a progress in the making, but I'm trusting God that it is the first step towards success. :)
One of the perks of currently living in the southwest: I get to chop
veggies outside in the sun while watching the kiddos run around.
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