First off, my apologies for being delinquent with an update.... last week I jumped back into the full routine and I was running a bit slower than normal (actually, there was NO jumping or running, but you know what I mean :)). :) It has been good to get back to focusing on the 'regular' routine around here....the stuff that is normal...but living through the lens of fighting cancer, I welcome 'routine' and 'normal'.
In the last post I mentioned that we are researching and waiting for a referral before deciding on which route to choose regarding treatment. Going nuclear or natural.
The research and wait still continues....
We had originally been waiting on a referral to a place in Phoenix that does offer conventional treatment, but also incorporates a whole body/holistic/natural approach. I was really excited to meet with the doctors there and hear what they had to say/offer.... it was only a matter of waiting to get the official authorization and appointment.
One morning last week I was reading in Psalms and a few different devotionals and EVERYWHERE I read one theme kept repeating itself... "wait patiently in the Lord". Seriously, I'm pretty sure I read it at least six times. I understood it to mean that we'll get the appointment when the time is right.... but a few hours later I got a phone call saying that the place in Phoenix no longer accepted our insurance as of the 1st of the year. Seriously?? And this would set the whole process back a week or two. I was disappointed, but honestly, felt such a peace to accept the closed door. Isn't God good? He prepared me that morning with every time that I read "wait patiently in the Lord". So, I figured that is a very clear 'NO' to Phoenix. I was disappointed, but so very at peace with trusting that this is for a reason.
Last Sunday at church, our pastor spoke about 'Investing Forever'. It's similar to a really wise saying I learned from my husband's grandparents... 'invest in things of eternal worth'. I go back to that saying so often regarding our time, money, resources, relationships, etc. And it has SO much more meaning when you are fighting a disease like cancer. Take what is temporary and invest it for eternal worth. That sure is a challenge. A daunting challenge. One in which I often wonder if we are doing well. And then he said something that planted joy and hope: "He leans forward to rejoice in our work"( Just to highlight one example..those adoptive and foster parents out there - whew. You blow me away constantly in how well you do this... but everyone does this...with your biological kids, your work, your ministry, etc.)
Geesh! Really?? Yes, He leans in and is ready to rejoice in what we do! See, I've often caught myself thinking 'umm...I hope this is right...Hope you like this God, or well, at least I'm giving it my best effort...' I've often cringed, wondering if what we did pleased Him. But I was reminded that He is FOR us....He leans forward to rejoice! Psalm 56: 9 "This I know, that God is for me"
And it brought me back to our decision regarding going nuclear or natural. In a sense, it boils down to this: if I do chemo and radiation and the cancer returns, then we can just say the treatment didn't work/the cancer was just too aggressive. If I go the natural route and it doesn't work, that rests on my shoulders. Does that make sense? Yes, I absolutely dread doing chemo and radiation, but I am also terrified of choosing the natural option, hoping and praying it works and then failing.
And so I choose to remember that God is FOR me...He leans forward to rejoice with us every step of the way... every time this fight bring Him Glory through our Good. He is excited to rejoice in and with us!
We found out yesterday that we have an appointment at MD Anderson on February 2nd. So glad to have an appointment finally, but also a bit nervous about walking into a cancer center.... shouldn't I be over the nerves by now? But it always takes me breath away to walk into a cancer appointment because it just reminds me that I'm battling for my physical life right now. And so are the many others around me. I'm part of the cancer club now - 'yay me'.
In the meantime, I have been pursuing a cancer fighting diet. I don't have any sort of degree or anything more than what I have researched as a momma fighting for the future days to see her grandchildren, but folks have asked me what I'm doing so here's the skinny:
My diet focuses on three things: 1) detox 2) build my immunity and 3) load up on cancer fighting foods. Basically, I'm eating a ton of veggies, consuming mostly raw foods (about 80 percent raw) and have cut out all sugar and cow dairy. I have a carrot smoothie (eating/drinking about 5-6 carrots a day...about to up this to almost 5LBS a day with juicing), green smoothie, big salads (have kale, broccoli, spinach or cabbage everyday), good fats (flaxseed oil, avo, coconut oil, ghee), homemade sourdough bread (thanks, Kerry for getting me HOOKED on this), limited amounts of good organic meat, serious kick of green tea (matcha) and have been using frankincense and myrrh essential oils. Yup -there's nothing genius in my diet...just boils down to lots of veggies and whole foods. I am giving this a go until our appointment and we'll see what my tests/scans/docs say. There's a nagging voice in me that says maybe I'm doing this all for naught and the docs will say the cancer has spread. But then I remember that I can hope....be brave enough to hope and pray that maybe the docs will say whatever I am doing is working! It takes so much courage to hope..... but as a wise friend reminds me to do, I will 'pick up my courage' and hope. My hope and courage are in Him and Him only...the one who leans forward to rejoice in and with me.
Oh, and I always, always, always, need a good dose of humor!
No comments:
Post a Comment