I was in a new store with kids in tow and as we were headed out the door, I had a request to make a detour for a potty break. I was at the front door so I went ahead and decided to park the cart, grabbed my little one from the front seat of the cart, and started walking towards the bathrooms with the bigger two straggling behind.......and they were s.t.r.a.g.g.l.i.n.g. BECAUSE I forgot their sister in the back of the cart! Yep, I just started walking right off, focused on my task at hand, and had completely forgotten one of my kiddos in the back of the shopping cart. Thankfully she seemed to take it all in stride and after I retrieved her, took our potty break and got back home I put the whole thing behind me. So I thought.
This same child of mine is known to repeat things over and over and over. In the past two weeks she kept saying "don't forget me" every single time we got out of the car of walked out the door. I had no idea why she kept saying it...I just imagined that she had picked up the phrase and was doing her thing. Repeating it. I finally asked her, "why do you keep saying that?? Have I EVER forgotten you??" Umm. YES. I had. and she quickly reminded of the event...which I had forgotten, but which had left such an impression on her sensitive heart. I felt like crumpling and crying and asked her to forgive me, to which she light heartedly said 'yes. Do you forgive me for fussing?' oh my heart. It broke for her that she felt forgotten by me when I had never ever intended to. It is one of my parenting lows.
And then it dawned on me how many things I forget and how often. (don't even get me started on my preggo forgetfulness....it includes putting dirty diapers in the FRIDGE. so yuck.) I get annoyed when my son forgets to do something I've asked him over and over to do....and forget the degree of Grace I have been given....and should share abundantly with him.
I've also been realizing that I have forgotten how to not be in 'moving mode'. For the past almost 6 months, we've been in transition and have moved twice. I keep the mental timeline which ticks down the time til we move again. I forgot that I don't have to worry about moving again...for a little while at least.
Moving has the affect of making me feel somewhat forgotten. When you're trying to connect and plug in with an already established group, it's easy to feel forgotten in the mix of things. When you're far from family it's easy to feel forgotten. Because life just gets busy sometimes.
The combination of my parenting lows and side effects of moving had me in a place of feeling so unworthy. Just overwhelmed. Incapable.
Then someone reminded me of this simple fact. Because, again, I had forgotten. That I am BELOVED by Christ. Despite all my flaws, ugliness, selfishness, failures and shortcomings, He has chosen to LOVE me with the purest, most perfect of loves. First. Because of who He is. And then I remember that He restores all things. he heals all hurts. And He renews us. I remember that I am His Beloved. And that's all I ever need to remember.
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