It's That Time....

It's that time....for my first big scan.  Lots of mixed emotions about this....part of me absolutely dreads it because it means going back to appointments in the hospital, I will be injected with a radioactive material (considering I don't even eat sugar right now, that's a BIG jump!) and I just didn't have that much fun inside the machine last time.  Yet part of me knows that it's good to get this scan done and have a look at what is going on inside.  The hardest part may be that I don't have an appointment to get my results until almost three weeks later.  Waiting always seems to be the hardest part.  So, in the end, this will be mostly a mental game.

I won't lie and say that I'm not nervous....I have butterflies about getting it done for all the reasons listed above, but every flutter reminds me of the verse from Philippians that talks about the 'peace that surpasses all understanding' and how that is what I need to focus on.  The best is when you look at the beginning of the verse. "The Lord is at hand.  Do not be anxious in anything, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:5-7.  This doesn't just say 'don't be nervous'.  It tells me why I don't have to be a bundle of nerves.  Because 'The Lord is at hand.'  Just as He has guided us around every twist and turn of this battle with cancer, He is at hand....He was then, He is now, and He always will be.  So, the choice is mine.  I can choose to fear and be nervous and hit the panic button during the scan, or I can choose to trust Him.  Because He loves me, the choice is mine.  Could you pray for me to feel His peace not only during the scan, but also during the wait until I get the results....and for peace in whatever the results will be.

In the meantime, I will choose to believe the words of life that friends have spoken over me and continue to place my Hope in Him and believe that my scan will be CLEAR!  :)  Amen?  :)

I am slightly embarrassed (and very humbled) to know that folks are praying for me before, during and after the scan....after all, this procedure is peanuts compared to the last major surgeries.  But my faithful friends have reminded me that nothing is too small or too big to bring to God in prayer.  And everywhere I turn, read, listen, look I keep learning about the power of prayer.  Some of you may not know something that happened during my first surgery.  A friend was in the middle of Costo and felt a conviction to pray for me so she pulled her kids in, prayed for me and then continued shopping.  About a minute later, she received a text from Rich with an update that there had been some complications and that they were trying to get me stable before continuing the surgery.  From thousands of miles away, God urged my friend to pray for me when I desperately needed it.  This isn't about me.  This is about how God works, how big He is and how He loves to hear us.

And with the reminder of the power of prayer, please continue praying for Team Justus.  They have been running a long race with their son in PICU and they appreciate all the prayers on their behalf.  And the incredible part to watch is how it's not just about them...it's about the God sightings and seeing how this has rallied thousands of people around the world to pray.

Here's a pic of our middle and one of her silly faces.  Kind of describes how I feel about the scan tomorrow...and also how much I'll miss being able to hold my kiddos until I'm not dangerously radioactive ( I am told to wait six hours before I hold my kiddos).  Geesh!

Here's to no panic buttons and getting this thing done!  Thank you, Lord, for Your peace that surpasses all understanding because You are at hand!