Have a GOOD Day

To say I was a bundle of nerves last Friday just might be an understatement....but thank you for praying so faithfully, friends and family!  There was another gentlemen going through a scan in another room who had a panic attack and couldn't finish, but mine went smoothly.  The reason why?  Because of God's grace and all the folks who said they were praying for me.  Seriously.  I've learned that I can jump out of airplanes and helicopters from thousands of feet high, but put me in a metal tube and forgettabout it!  Thank you, thank you for the constant support.

Just a little insight into the process...the timeline of the radioactive injection is very specific.  I had to start at a certain time and after the tech injected me with the radioactive sugar tracer (the syringe was encase in a lead shield...crazy, anyone???), I was told to sit quietly and relax for about an hour.  Again, I'm not sure how people relax after knowing what they've been injected with (I couldn't read a book or do anything other than sit because the material would be taken up by my brain which they didn't want to do..again, crazy...???), but somehow, by the prayers of y'all, I actually managed to catch a few catnaps.  That says a LOT.  I went to the bathroom before the actual scan and saw this sign:

 Which made me cringe and then straight up laugh.  Again...crazy.  Whoever/However they discovered this process is absolutely beyond me and I can honestly say out of all the things I am interested in, nuclear medicine is NOT one of them.

I was thankful to have the scan OVER and as I walked out, there were so many fears in the back of my mind.... 'what are you going to do if the results come back showing more cancer?', 'have I just been utterly wasting my effort and time with alternate treatment?', 'will I be back in for another scan in another month?', 'did Rich and I choose the wrong treatment and not discern God's voice well enough?'...the list could go on....but one of the most powerful encouragements have been friends who have literally spoken life and healing over me.  I'm not sure if this makes sense, but sometimes, when you're in the middle of the storm and getting knocked down, it's hard to hope.  And sometimes, you need others to hope for you.  And to remind me that our hope is not determined by our circumstances....our hope is determined by the ONE we hope in.  Let me say that another way.  My hope is not secured by circumstances, my hope is anchored in Jesus Christ who loved me enough to die for me in order that I may have LIFE and have LIFE to the fullest through faith (relationship) in Him.

And this brings me to the title of this post:  Have a GOOD day.  We just received the official results of the scan (amazingly weeks EARLIER than I had thought!).  My kiddos are running around in a post-school-hyper-tired-need-a-snack mix of crankiness, but I don't care because I have to share this NEWS...because "what God has whispered to you in the darkness, shout if from the rooftops!" (Matthew 10:27):

 I AM CANCER FREE!!!!!!!!!!!  Amen and Amen!!!!!!!!!

Do I think different food/lifestyle/nutrition has healed me?  Absolutely not.  Has it at least helped?  Definitely.  Could I have had the same result after doing chemo and radiation?  Quite possibly.  So, how do I get to say I AM CANCER FREE?????  Only by the grace of God.  To God be ALL the Glory.  Amen.

It's That Time....

It's that time....for my first big scan.  Lots of mixed emotions about this....part of me absolutely dreads it because it means going back to appointments in the hospital, I will be injected with a radioactive material (considering I don't even eat sugar right now, that's a BIG jump!) and I just didn't have that much fun inside the machine last time.  Yet part of me knows that it's good to get this scan done and have a look at what is going on inside.  The hardest part may be that I don't have an appointment to get my results until almost three weeks later.  Waiting always seems to be the hardest part.  So, in the end, this will be mostly a mental game.

I won't lie and say that I'm not nervous....I have butterflies about getting it done for all the reasons listed above, but every flutter reminds me of the verse from Philippians that talks about the 'peace that surpasses all understanding' and how that is what I need to focus on.  The best is when you look at the beginning of the verse. "The Lord is at hand.  Do not be anxious in anything, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:5-7.  This doesn't just say 'don't be nervous'.  It tells me why I don't have to be a bundle of nerves.  Because 'The Lord is at hand.'  Just as He has guided us around every twist and turn of this battle with cancer, He is at hand....He was then, He is now, and He always will be.  So, the choice is mine.  I can choose to fear and be nervous and hit the panic button during the scan, or I can choose to trust Him.  Because He loves me, the choice is mine.  Could you pray for me to feel His peace not only during the scan, but also during the wait until I get the results....and for peace in whatever the results will be.

In the meantime, I will choose to believe the words of life that friends have spoken over me and continue to place my Hope in Him and believe that my scan will be CLEAR!  :)  Amen?  :)

I am slightly embarrassed (and very humbled) to know that folks are praying for me before, during and after the scan....after all, this procedure is peanuts compared to the last major surgeries.  But my faithful friends have reminded me that nothing is too small or too big to bring to God in prayer.  And everywhere I turn, read, listen, look I keep learning about the power of prayer.  Some of you may not know something that happened during my first surgery.  A friend was in the middle of Costo and felt a conviction to pray for me so she pulled her kids in, prayed for me and then continued shopping.  About a minute later, she received a text from Rich with an update that there had been some complications and that they were trying to get me stable before continuing the surgery.  From thousands of miles away, God urged my friend to pray for me when I desperately needed it.  This isn't about me.  This is about how God works, how big He is and how He loves to hear us.

And with the reminder of the power of prayer, please continue praying for Team Justus.  They have been running a long race with their son in PICU and they appreciate all the prayers on their behalf.  And the incredible part to watch is how it's not just about them...it's about the God sightings and seeing how this has rallied thousands of people around the world to pray.

Here's a pic of our middle and one of her silly faces.  Kind of describes how I feel about the scan tomorrow...and also how much I'll miss being able to hold my kiddos until I'm not dangerously radioactive ( I am told to wait six hours before I hold my kiddos).  Geesh!

Here's to no panic buttons and getting this thing done!  Thank you, Lord, for Your peace that surpasses all understanding because You are at hand!

    

It's been a while....and this I know.

Whew.  It has been a while...long enough that I had to ask my husband how to find my blog again.  :)  Kind of half kidding...I was just thinking out loud and he reminded me what it is called.  My brain has been on different matters recently.

During the past couple months, we spent countless hours at the pool while making new friends, drove over 4,000 miles to hug family we hadn't seen in too long while also meeting some relatives for the first time, I spent a glorious weekend with dear friends and zero parental responsibilities, and drove another 1,000 miles to the mountains for an amazing week of family camp.  I think it's pretty amazing that all of this happened despite what kind of shape I was in last winter.  God is good.

The first thing I learned this summer:  (I mean really learned.)  That God likes me.  I always knew that He loves me, but I really, truly understood that He actually likes me, too.  :)  I'm not sure if you can relate, but it is very possible to love someone while at the same time not quite liking them....that sounds harsh (and there may be some that can't relate to this at all...skip to the next paragraph, please :)), but it's a true phenomenon.  And to a certain degree, I always knew God loves me because, well, He's supposed to - He's God and I'm His kid (Jesus loves me this I know, for the bible tells me so...), and that's what you do when you have a kid, right?  But deep down, I may have wondered at times, if He actually delighted in me...in other words, 'do I make Him smile?'  Yet one thing after another happened - little things and big things ( lining up with what I happened to be reading in the bible about how He regards us as His inheritance...because He loves and likes us that much!!!) - that it almost seemed like He kept whispering to me, 'do you know how much I enjoy you?'  And that's what relationship with Jesus is like.  You can believe in God and still not have a relationship with him...but a relationship with you is what the God of the Universe desires.  Because He likes you that much.

Second, cancer does not define me.  It sure did a number on me last winter, is definitely part of my story and I have the scars to bear, but it does not nor will ever be what defines me.  My scars are kind of lame (can't say I fought off a shark or something like that), they still hurt a bit and there are a bunch, but they don't define me.  His are the scars that define me.  The only scars worth anything in my opinion are of the ones who died for me on the Cross because again...He likes me.  During our week in Colorado I started to let go of my physical scars and shame...it's a work in progress, but the scars have no hold over me.

And third, it's in the storms that we draw closest to Jesus.  Last winter was a big storm in our lives.  I admit it's left me a bit gun shy and nervous about this fall....I have my big CT/PET scan coming up soon and probably three more surgeries/procedures (oh, and did I mention a dental appt???  I absolutely dread going to the dentist.).  Yet, it was during that crazy storm where I saw one God sighting after another.  It was during that storm that I saw the angel.  The warrior angel.  And though I would never have willingly chosen to weather that storm, I would never trade what I learned about Him.


We've got a full fall lined up....to include teaching more classes, possibly attempting a low key sprint triathlon at the end of September (depending on when my surgeries are) and praying for clear CT/PET scan results (thank you Lord, that it will be clear!).

The next nutritional topic that I wanted to mention was about fat.  The good fats that your body thrives on and the bad, inflammatory ones to kick to the curb.  In the spectrum of how interesting I think fat is, it falls somewhere between MTHFR, micronutrients and the microbiome....in other words, I really like learning about fat.  :)  stay tuned for more on that.....

But on a more serious note, and the main reason I wanted to write another post is that we have been asking folks to pray for a little 4 yr old boy named Justus.  We know his family through a few degrees....they were very involved with Young Life and wrote a book called Going Public which really helped us in our decision regarding public school vs continuing to homeschool, which obviously ended up being a huge grace for us.  Justus has been in the hospital for going on 21 days with viral encephalitis and is still in an induced coma.  We can only imagine what an intense storm this is for his family.....his grandfather has been posting daily updates on his status and how to pray.  Please take a moment to read about him here and their God sightings and prayer requests.  Recently, two well known members joined TeamJustus!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/743508859110720/  Please join in praying for TeamJustus!