How to Fight

Like so many others, my heart and mind keep thinking of the Christians, both big and small, being persecuted on the other side of the world.  It's beyond comprehension to think of the terrors that so many are facing for a faith that I practice and proclaim with such freedom from my little corner of the world.  It's not ironic, it's tragic.  And my first response when I started reading reports of the atrocities, was 'let me back in the fight somehow, Lord!'.  If I could, if there was a way, I'd go back in a heartbeat to help fight.  It's hard to believe that almost ten years ago, I was on the ground in Iraq, living a very different life.  I thought that situation was bad back then.  I had no idea how much worse it would be a decade later.  And I keep thinking of them....wondering if they have survived.  

And then I started questioning so many things that currently consume my energy and time on a minute by minute basis.  I actually started resenting and feeling so 'bothered' by the little hands and noses that I had to wipe, the little tummies that needed to be filled with food, the little bodies that required some sunscreen because we have the privilege of going to a pool, all the water bottles that need to filled with clean water that flows freely in our home, the seemingly gazillion shoes that I seem to be constantly tripping over (because of course we have crocs for the pool and sand, gym shoes for running around and a couple 'nice ' shoes for church).  It all kind of seems a bit ridiculous when others are just hoping to take their next breath.   

Even if there was a way to return to help and fight for those being persecuted, this big 'ol swollen, third trimester belly would make me a hindrance rather than helpful.  And then I started questioning God on what in the world I had gotten myself into.  I've always daydreamed of a second career as a first responder - firefighter, rescue diver, smoke jumper, ER/trauma doc, paramedic, heck - even someone that would stop and give CPR to someone dying on the side of the road.  In the back of my mind, there was this creeping thought that I'm not where I'm supposed to be (literally and figuratively) and somewhere along the way I chose the wrong path.  

But God is ever so gracious - in my questioning and doubts He gently reminded me that He is Sovereign.  Always has been.  Is.  and Always will be.    

He reminded me through another (much wiser) friend's post that "He sees and He will make this right." Just as He rescued His people in Exodus 14:27-28, He will rescue again.  

He reminded me that prayer is not to be underestimated.  I had to hear that CLEARLY from Him as I felt useless praying while washing my sink of dirty dishes that had been used to serve good, healthy food to my kids.  After returning from Iraq, a precious friend and family member shared with me that she was woken in the middle of the night and just felt a strong urge to pray for me.  And as she was talking to her mom the next day, turns out the same thing happened to her mom.  Two different people, two different homes,  at the same time felt the urge to pray for me on the other side of the world.  That's no coincidence.  Only in heaven will I know what I was protected/spared from that day.  And so I will pray.  and pray.  and pray.  and my kids have started to pray, too.  

He reminded me that though my heart longs to help those on the other side of the world, He has not made a mistake in placing me where I am.  While my husband is away (but we're in the homestretch!!!!!), I, by the GRACE OF GOD, have been the sole everything for our kids.   And this job, that kicks my butt on a daily basis, is not to be taken lightly because in the midst of all the mundane, day to day tasks, this is a job about raising eternal souls who are sons and daughters of the one true KING.  (If our kids each get married, that's our kiddos x 2, which to me seems like a lot of folks to be building a heritage for!)  Regardless of a fire down the road or tragedy across the world, He has placed me where I am and my only task is to be faithful to the job given me.  He asks nothing more and nothing less and provides abundant grace for the job at hand.  

And wouldn't the enemy love it if I just quit praying and gave up on my job of raising souls?????  You betcha.  

So, I will be faithful in my current job and continue to pray.  I'm not fighting with weapons and fancy technology this time...but He is far more powerful.

For those that are in the fight, literally, we will fight the best way we know how: with prayer.  God speed.