This summer I had an awesome opportunity to spend some time with precious girlfriends who I consider to be 'soul friends'. I brought up a question that had been on my mind for a few weeks and they were the perfect group to ask....because they've been there for me in some of my hardest moments and I trust them to the core. I told them that I was beginning to wonder if I was a feminist.
I know the word brings up a broad range of ideas and phrases to mind.... "I am woman hear me roar"..."break the glass ceiling"..."have to be better than men"...." independent"..."tough"..."difficult".... and some embrace it and some cringe at it.
To be very frank, I have never considered myself to be a feminist - in terms of trying to prove that I am better than the next man. But throughout my adult life, I have become more and more aware of the discomfort I have in the fact that some might consider me to be a feminist. Because I can tend to be outspoken, I usually don't take no for an answer, I feel more at home at a shooting range than at a tea party, and when I think of the book Love and Respect (which describes the different love languages for women and men), I would often rather choose Respect. I am fascinated by the fact that after Jesus' resurrection, he first appeared to women. I love reading example after example of how Jesus elevated women to a position of respect vs property. Of how he encouraged Mary as she sat as a student at his feet versus tend to duties in the kitchen. Of how he never condemned women, even when they were caught in adultery, but instead restored their dignity. And it's all of this that gave me a mini identity crisis, wondering if I was a feminist, because sometimes I feel like I don't fit in with the church.
Let me back up a moment and clarify something: I find nothing wrong with being soft spoken, sitting down to a tea party, or choosing Love vs Respect. Absolutely nothing wrong. In fact, I admire so many of those qualities. But I have so often felt uncomfortably different. And sometimes feel like something is wrong with me.
Until this weekend.
When I listened to a podcast and learned about SWW. Strong Willed Women. It was a podcast with Cynthia Tobias, and I almost discounted it..... until I started to hear what she was saying and I was completely tuned in. As I continued to listen to the podcast I started saying 'yes!', 'exactly!', 'totally!', 'that's me!', 'she's spot on!'. I listened to it twice and then played it for my husband. I don't think I could summarize her interview and do her justice so I'll include a few quotes from the transcript below:
"One of the things I love about being a strong-willed woman, I want to work shoulder to shoulder with men. I don't want to put them down or to put myself up or to have special privileges. I want to work side by side in a collaborative method, using complementary strengths. So, it's not in any way a feminist position. It's not a position that says, okay, women are better. It's saying we are collaborating. We are mutually respectful."
"Well, and the first step is just to recognize, awareness of I am a strong-willed person and I know I don't always use it appropriately. And I come to God. I talk about in the King James Version in Corinthians where it says, I want every thought to come into captivity to Christ.
I want that for myself as the strong-willed woman. And I want to make sure that my life aligns with Christ. And let's just be honest for a minute. In churches and in women's ministries, the strong-willed woman is not always present, because we're not gonna go do arts and crafts on a Thursday night women's ministry."
"But most strong-willed women will tell you that we don't necessarily feel as welcome in a church as we do on the job, for example. We could be a CEO of a large organization and be really valued for our leadership. But then at the church it doesn't translate.
And so, this book is meant to open conversations like that, meant to open the conversation and say, "Where are the strong-willed women that we need praying for us? Where are the strong-willed women that we need coming alongside us for support? Are we reaching out to them?" (Podcast) (Cynthia's Website) Her Book, A Woman of Strength and Purpose. I feel like someone finally came alongside me and whispered "you are just FINE". "Nothin' wrong with you hun." I feel like I have so much freedom in being me. Because that's how God made ME. My strong will still definitely needs to be honed to use discretion in my speech, graciousness in my actions and gentleness with others, but I FINALLY feel freedom in knowing that not despite my strong will, but through my strong will, I can bring Glory to God.
Y'all, as I write this I realize that I may be light years behind so many who have already recognized this and are totally at peace with being a SWW, but hallelujah, it feels SO good to embrace who I was made to be!
These race cars were set up in the parking lot of our church for Father's Day.... my husband was out of town so I gladly took advantage of this! One of my dreams is to drive a race car. :)
Several of my kids have had some crazy hair....I'm starting to think this type of hair might be a reflection of offspring from strong willed women.
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