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My daughter pointed this out to me (on the way to school, of course!). My first thought was 'hmm....yup. that's kind of how I feel right now. I can totally identify with you, tire.' |
But this week also included the exciting news of promotions (which also means we know where we are most likely moving next!), a nerve wracking t.v. interview and rocks....lots of rocks (the rocks will make it in another post :)).
And of course in the middle of all this, God manages (I say that as if I should be surprised?) to weave together His indelible truths in my heart.
A few weeks ago I read about Lot and his incredible rescue by the angels (Genesis 19), as they literally pluck him out of an angry mob and save him just in time as the rest of the city is destroyed. The story got my adrenaline pumping( - go read it - it's an incredible rescue mission) and then I read to the end which includes Lot eventually fathering his own grandsons, which I thought was not the most glamorous ending (after such a dramatic rescue!). And it just made me think... 'was that kind of a waste of being saved?' God promptly turned that around on me and asked 'are you wasting what I've given you? Are you living out your purpose? You've been given MUCH and with that comes MUCH responsibility.'
And, as everyone knows, the promotion lists came out this week. And we are so incredibly thankful and humbled to be on the list. But it is A.L.L. GOD. Every good thing comes from Him. Yes, my husband happens to be super duper smart (hello? who gets a perfect math SAT score AND has a master's in English??? seriously. imagine living with that. :)). But that super duper smartness is from GOD. I just want to settle that one loud and clear. And with the promotion comes the next move and job and of course more pay....which immediately made me think of the best way to use the resources He gives us....in other words, with the extra resources comes extra responsibility to use it well and for His Glory. But the responsibility would have been the same even if his name wasn't on the list because we believe God's hand would have been in that, even in the disappointment.
This always comes full circle with cancer. I've been given a second chance. I am feeling better than I could have imagined a year ago. And what am I going to do with it? Will I be one of the nine lepers who went on their way and forgot about Jesus after being healed or will I remember to be that one who turns around and remembers to thank Jesus? Continually.
Which brings me to the title of this post. All these truths were being woven together in my mind, but it has been a long week and to be quite frank, I just wanted to retreat. Let me be clear here - I don't mean retreat in the sense of restoration, rejuvenation, revitalizing, regenerating, rest - those are good things. I mean retreat as in 'slink back', 'run away', 'surrender', 'throw up my hands', 'crawl into a bubble'. Literally. Here's a copy of the text I sent to my husband after having wrestled my almost 18 month old through a grocery store with one arm because she just lost it after she couldn't carry a bag of tangerines to the checkout aisle.
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The first text is my husband....Yes, I have one of THOSE. An amazing husband who doesn't hesitate to give me some relief! |
And as I mentioned earlier I had a t.v. interview to do for a project I am helping coordinate for our kids' school. To say I was NERVOUS is a HUGE understatement. I was a nervous wreck. I absolutely cringe when I see or hear myself on t.v./any recording. I just feel so much pressure to look/be/act perfect because, my goodness, everyone will see me and they just might realize that the hair, make up, clothes and good posture (I managed to sit up straight for once!) are all just a fraud compared to the mom inside who is tired, overwhelmed, fearful and not sure if she is 'liked'. Can anyone identify with this?? (By the way, a little plug here for my amazing friend, Michelle, who is an image consultant and answered my gazillion questions of what to wear! check her out here at darlignbydesign.) Of course, the morning of the interview my little one decided that she was not going to cooperate and let the world know that teething really does hurt.
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Talk about being pulled outside my comfort zone...t.v. interview + miserable baby= nervous and cranky momma. |
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It's never the wrong time to have a battle plan! |