During the past few years, God has redefined my understanding of faithful.
I used to understand faithful in the version of "God is faithful.... He always provides." The same way that we don't have to worry about where our next home will be - "He always provides!". And it's true - in 10 years and 9 different houses, we've never been homeless. But my understanding of faithful was rocked to the core a few years ago.
I have a sweet, soul friend, Sarah. When she was pregnant with her second baby, about 4 months into her pregnancy, doctors found out there was something wrong. The following weeks involved a series of tests and procedures to first determine what exactly was wrong and then to correct it in utero. We prayed...prayed hard for baby Mia to be healed. And I believed in my heart of hearts that everything would be fine. After all, God is faithful. He always provides.
But on November 20th, Sarah and David were forced to say hello and goodbye to baby Mia. To say I cannot even begin to understand their heartbreak is an understatement. In a selfish way, I have to admit that I was grieving for myself, too. I was disappointed by God - I felt like He had let me down. From my finite point of view, there was absolutely no reason why God would not or could not have saved baby Mia. He is God. He is faithful. He could heal baby Mia. He always provides. But why not this time?
In the weeks and months that followed Sarah didn't hide her pain or pretend like all was okay. She was gracefully transparent about her grief, yet she never uttered one word of resentment towards God. I don't know if she and David wrestled privately with God for answers, but never did they utter a single word of blame towards God.
Sarah and David walked through the refiner's fire and came out with an amazing testimony. And this is when God redefined my definition of faithful. Somehow, somewhere, in the midst of their grief, God provided Sarah and David with a lasting faith in Him. He provided them with a faith that despite heartbreaking loss, grew even stronger. This is what faithful is: when everything in the world is stripped away and you have nothing left but God, He proves to be enough. He provides. Himself.
I imagine that Sarah and David might be celebrities in heaven. :)
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Friday, November 15, 2013
Engage
We are two thirds of the way through a three month course that my husband is required to take for his next job. That means we moved about two months ago and we're about to move (again) in less than a month. My heart was dreading this move.... I left a fantastic community of folks with whom I have some rich relationships and three months is not an ideal amount of time for us (my kids included) to make new friends. It's one thing to meet someone you like....it's another thing to have time to nurture that relationship.
God has been challenging me, though, to still get 'out there' and meet folks. Talk to the other moms who are waiting with me during dance class, chat it up with the check out lady, invite someone over for dinner, etc. Sure, chances are I won't find another lifelong friendship in our short stint here (again....relationships just plain 'ol take time), but I'm convinced that God wants us to be engaged with the world around us. He showed us this in Jesus' life on earth. Jesus engaged with humanity...in such a real way. Even with people we probably wouldn't like.
That's so different from how I tend to react to things I don't like. I've noticed this in my parenting...to be quite frank, I don't really like barbie dolls and all the princess stuff (go figure, we have three girls! and they'll ALL be in highschool at the same time someday!). I never had it growing up and just don't see a need for it now. and I want to shelter them from so many things that I think they represent....warped sense of body image, choice of clothing, etc (just my opinion). But have you noticed princess stuff is EVERYWHERE? It's really, really hard to avoid. In some sense, to some degree, I've avoided engaging in the part of the world that my little girls live in that revolves around all things princess. It's time to change that.
Christ's example for us on earth was not to run away or avoid things we don't like. He engaged in society....even parts and people of society that we're SO wrong. Actually, ESPECIALLY those. He tackled some awkward moments and engaged them head on... he TOUCHED the leper, he conversed with a Samaritan - a woman, no less, he ate with a tax collector, the list could go on and on. And that's when lives were changed. Forever.
As christians, when we choose to engage this world, even the parts that may offend us or that we simply don't really like, we open the door for Christ's amazing grace to transform lives. Sure, He can change lives with or without us. He doesn't need us. But when we choose to engage in this world He created - the good, the bad and the ugly, we get to be that much more a part of His work. I just hope there aren't barbie dolls in heaven!
God has been challenging me, though, to still get 'out there' and meet folks. Talk to the other moms who are waiting with me during dance class, chat it up with the check out lady, invite someone over for dinner, etc. Sure, chances are I won't find another lifelong friendship in our short stint here (again....relationships just plain 'ol take time), but I'm convinced that God wants us to be engaged with the world around us. He showed us this in Jesus' life on earth. Jesus engaged with humanity...in such a real way. Even with people we probably wouldn't like.
That's so different from how I tend to react to things I don't like. I've noticed this in my parenting...to be quite frank, I don't really like barbie dolls and all the princess stuff (go figure, we have three girls! and they'll ALL be in highschool at the same time someday!). I never had it growing up and just don't see a need for it now. and I want to shelter them from so many things that I think they represent....warped sense of body image, choice of clothing, etc (just my opinion). But have you noticed princess stuff is EVERYWHERE? It's really, really hard to avoid. In some sense, to some degree, I've avoided engaging in the part of the world that my little girls live in that revolves around all things princess. It's time to change that.
Christ's example for us on earth was not to run away or avoid things we don't like. He engaged in society....even parts and people of society that we're SO wrong. Actually, ESPECIALLY those. He tackled some awkward moments and engaged them head on... he TOUCHED the leper, he conversed with a Samaritan - a woman, no less, he ate with a tax collector, the list could go on and on. And that's when lives were changed. Forever.
As christians, when we choose to engage this world, even the parts that may offend us or that we simply don't really like, we open the door for Christ's amazing grace to transform lives. Sure, He can change lives with or without us. He doesn't need us. But when we choose to engage in this world He created - the good, the bad and the ugly, we get to be that much more a part of His work. I just hope there aren't barbie dolls in heaven!
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Focus
Several thoughts/ideas have been ruminating in my mind recently....and they are starting to run together so I wanted to write and sort them out.
I'm surrounded by some pretty incredibly talented folks...family, friends, people I happen to cross paths with. And often, it gets me thinking...what am I doing that's significant?? What else can I do/how else can I contribute to something bigger and better than me? I have four young kids and am homeschooling and I know I'm investing in something of eternal worth: their souls. I KNOW that is important....but I can't deny that I often daydream of what could have been and might be someday. It's not that I am not thankful for what I have or that I want to change what I have - I am very aware of how blessed I truly am; I'm completely at peace with our decision regarding how we 'do' family. It's just that in my heart of hearts, I know that some of the gifts and passions God has given me aren't used to their full potential right now. And I'm learning that that is okay.
As I've been turning this over in my mind, I read a blog post yesterday by Ann Voskamp about the destructiveness of comparison. I think girls are way more susceptible to comparing themselves to each other, but I'm sure everyone suffers from it to some degree. Her blog resonated with me in every way - how it's destructive both for the comparer and the compared. And it got me thinking.... so what is the cure?? I KNOW that comparison is not only the 'thief of joy', but that it goes a step further and destroys...relationships. It's b.a.d. But what do we do to avoid it? How do we get around it? How do we prevent it? What is the cure???
And then God renewed for me the passage in 1 Samuel 16 about the choosing of David as the next King. When Samuel is led by God to anoint David, guess what David was doing??? Tending sheep. Yep...sheep. I'm not a bible scholar, but I'm pretty sure the prestigious job of the day was not tending sheep. I'm guessing that David didn't think to himself 'whew, I'm doing some seriously important work here...my sheep tending (shepherding??) is changing the world!"and I'm pretty sure he wasn't comparing his flock to others. "Man, John's sheep are SO much better behaved than mine....and Sam's sheep are SO smart... and Ezekial's sheep are SO athletic....and so on.." Instead, (here's where God really spoke to me) he was just focused on his job at hand. And it was taking care of the sheep. Just plain ol' sheep. In the same way, the only thing I need to do right now is FOCUS on my job at hand. It's when I start day dreaming about other jobs and wondering how much better other folks are doing this job of raising their families, homeschooling, juggling careers, etc., that I get terribly distracted and fall prey to the effects of comparison. All I need to do is focus on my current assignment and God will take care of the rest. He has promised it.
I'm surrounded by some pretty incredibly talented folks...family, friends, people I happen to cross paths with. And often, it gets me thinking...what am I doing that's significant?? What else can I do/how else can I contribute to something bigger and better than me? I have four young kids and am homeschooling and I know I'm investing in something of eternal worth: their souls. I KNOW that is important....but I can't deny that I often daydream of what could have been and might be someday. It's not that I am not thankful for what I have or that I want to change what I have - I am very aware of how blessed I truly am; I'm completely at peace with our decision regarding how we 'do' family. It's just that in my heart of hearts, I know that some of the gifts and passions God has given me aren't used to their full potential right now. And I'm learning that that is okay.
As I've been turning this over in my mind, I read a blog post yesterday by Ann Voskamp about the destructiveness of comparison. I think girls are way more susceptible to comparing themselves to each other, but I'm sure everyone suffers from it to some degree. Her blog resonated with me in every way - how it's destructive both for the comparer and the compared. And it got me thinking.... so what is the cure?? I KNOW that comparison is not only the 'thief of joy', but that it goes a step further and destroys...relationships. It's b.a.d. But what do we do to avoid it? How do we get around it? How do we prevent it? What is the cure???
And then God renewed for me the passage in 1 Samuel 16 about the choosing of David as the next King. When Samuel is led by God to anoint David, guess what David was doing??? Tending sheep. Yep...sheep. I'm not a bible scholar, but I'm pretty sure the prestigious job of the day was not tending sheep. I'm guessing that David didn't think to himself 'whew, I'm doing some seriously important work here...my sheep tending (shepherding??) is changing the world!"and I'm pretty sure he wasn't comparing his flock to others. "Man, John's sheep are SO much better behaved than mine....and Sam's sheep are SO smart... and Ezekial's sheep are SO athletic....and so on.." Instead, (here's where God really spoke to me) he was just focused on his job at hand. And it was taking care of the sheep. Just plain ol' sheep. In the same way, the only thing I need to do right now is FOCUS on my job at hand. It's when I start day dreaming about other jobs and wondering how much better other folks are doing this job of raising their families, homeschooling, juggling careers, etc., that I get terribly distracted and fall prey to the effects of comparison. All I need to do is focus on my current assignment and God will take care of the rest. He has promised it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)